NEW blog address

Hi everyone!  We’re moving on up! 

Join me at www.bravotvlover.com  for all new bloggage!

I’m still in transition, but start commenting over there, okay? 

For my email subscribers, please re-subscribe…this will be my once and only move!  Thanks!

 

I’ve turned off all comments over here, but feel free to comment at the new blog and am transferring the posts over there!  Thanks!

Tamra,I’ll be a bridesmaid!

Congratulations might be in order for Tamra Barney and Eddie Judge!  Life and Style Magazine is reporting that the happy couple got engaged two weeks ago!

 

Life & Style can reveal that nearly two weeks ago, Real Housewives of Orange County star Tamra Barney said “yes” to boyfriend Eddie Judge‘s proposal.

 

“They’re keeping the news under wraps until they have to film the reunion show in a few weeks,” a source close to the couple tells Life & Style. “They are so happy and excited!”

And the blond reality star always knew her hubby-to-be was the one.

“We’ve talked about marriage and we want to get married,” she’s said in the past. “It’s an insane amount of love; I have never used the term ‘soul mate’ before, but we are!”

Tamra, 43, began dating Eddie, 38, more than two years ago following her very public divorce from husband of 11 years, Simon Barney.

Congratulations to the happy couple!

 

I like this—-I like it a lot.

Eddie is just the right man for our Tammy Sue and I see this relationship lasting into Tamra’s senior citizen years.

 

Tamra, I would love to be a bridesmaid at your wedding!  Call me!  I look good in pink or lavender or even red!  I have experiences and references. 

What do y’all think of Tamra and Eddie getting married?  I smell spinoff.

Real Housewives of New York go…on Strike?

Calling Kelly Killoren Bensimon

Andy, When can I get out of Time Out?

The Real Old Ladies of New York have gone on strike! 

The Huffington Post reports that Ramona Singer, Countess Luann DeLesseps, and Sonja Morgan have refused to shoot any more scenes for the next season of Real Housewives of New York due to the production company running behind schedule.

 

From Naughty but Nice Rob:

“LuAnn [de Lesseps], Sonja [Morgan] and Ramona [Singer] refused to shoot any scenes at Fashion Week in February, complaining that production was dragging on well past the date that was agreed upon, so they went on strike,” one of the original cast members tells me. “Ultimately, they did return to tape a final few scenes, but it’s not fair that they should have to give up their time, with no extra pay, just so the slower new girls can learn how to tape a TV show.”

In past seasons, the New York ladies have cleared their schedules from September to February, while keeping in mind that taping could extend a week or two beyond that. But this year, Ramona, in particular, fought back against the extended filming schedule — leading the other ladies to follow her on the filming strike, the original cast member said.

“They might call it a strike, but the network sees it more as a little disagreement,” a Bravo insider tells me. “In the end, the ladies that didn’t make themselves available to shoot only hurt themselves, as it means the new girls will get extra airtime. What I can guarantee you is that if Ramona thinks she is going to win by messing with the new ladies, she can think again. These girls are killers.”

WHO can we call?  What famewhores do we know in New York?  Anyone? Anyone?

Did this Real Housewife work at a Strip Club?

Did This Real Housewife work at a Strip Club too?

Oh, dear-WHAT is it with casting former strippers as “housewives”?

Tweattwaddle has been the only blogger thus far to gain access to the “newest” member of the Real Housewives of Orange County cast, “Kitty McMuffin” the creator of the McMuffin. 

Kitty hasn’t made an appearance on the show so far this season and viewers across America are outraged!  There is a rumor floating around that she kept showing her ahem, “kittymcmuffin” to all the camera men and Bravo decided to cut her from the show.

After several attempts, I was finally able to gain access to Kitty and I found her to be as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

Kitty, when are we going to see that beautiful face on RHOC?

You would have to start with that sore point now wouldn’t you. I’m so livid I could just eat 10 egg mcmuffins all at once, and maybe some fries on top of that! No, no, I won’t go back to my old fat Kitty ways. What was the question? Oh yes, well, it seems I have been unceremoniously axed by the editors and with no mention or trace of me. They have not returned any calls or answered any of my many emails, tweets and facebook inquiries. I don’t know why. Possibly for my pre-emptive interview granted to tweatcyn at the tweattwaddle blog. Or maybe for siding with Peggy over Alexis in their childish dispute. Nevertheless, I’m still friends with the girls (Heather and I are neighbors you know in Newport Coast) and will carry on like a lady.

 

 

So, be honest.  Have you had Botox?  Juvederm?  Latisse?  No one is naturally THAT gorgeous.

Well thank you dear. You are so kind. 

 

Who is your favorite OC housewife that you’ve filmed with?

Hmmm, well that’s so difficult. I suppose the Countess was my favorite. That LuLu can really be a blast when she’s three sheets to the wind and singin’ those show-tunes. Oh, see what I’ve done there? I just revealed that the OC is not my first Housewife show to film. You can make out the back of my head in the crowd when LuLu threw that cabaret birthday party for Jill last season. For the OC, I’d have to say Slade was my favorite housewife for obvious reasons (cock-sock). 

What is your favorite Beauty tip?

Guacamole is for facials, not for eating. ( I have a book coming out next year that deals with food as beauty treatment. I don’t need BRAVO to sponsor my marketing schemes or steel proceeds from them. I am richer than NeNe Leakes!)

What about your lovelife?  Is it true that you, Brandi Glanville, and Gerard Butler had a hot night in the OC last summer?

I’ll have to check with Gerry and get back to you on that one, wink! wink!

What is BravoAndy REALLY like?

Oh he’s a sexy little nibble isn’t he? What I think is just a riot is how he has perpetuated this gay personna just to curry favor with the gays and bring BRAVOs ratings through the roof! He’s so smart. 

 What is your freak number?

Well, that is hard to say. What would it be if you are a nymphomaniac but you only like to do it missionary style? A two perhaps?

How do you keep in tip top shape?  Are you ready for bikini season?

LOL, you are a flatterer darling. Seriously, this is part of my book too. I lift cans of food and water bottles for weight training. A little yoga too, though I have terrible balance and often tip over when I do “The Tree”.

Anything you’d like the viewers of Bravo to know about behind the scenes?

Yes! Vicky has really gotten a bad rap. She is as sweet and harmless as a honey badger. She’s not nearly as porcine in person either. Oh, and Heather is deathly afraid  of cottage cheese, so many pranks are played on her using cottage cheese. So funny. 

Is it true that you once worked at a strip club?

Please define “worked at”.

 

 

Blogger note: Kitty McMuffin is a fictitious character created by TweatCyn of tweattwaddle.  The above blog is SATIRE> Photos shown are of socialite Jocelyn Wildenstein.Photo courtesy of google images.  Thanks TweatCyn for the fun! Visit http://www.tweattwaddle.blogspot.com/ for more with “Kitty”

Juicy Joe Guidice apartment conditions

NewYork/Jersey TV station, abc7, ran a story last night about the deplorable things that Teresa Guidice’s husband Joe did to his tenants.

Heres the link

http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/html5/video?id=8567183&pid=null&section=null

Come back to discuss.

Joe denies owning the building, but it’s registered to a company that names Guiseppe Guidice as the principal. The story cites meter tampering, carbon monoxide readings from a generator and a broken smoke detector system. What a horrible landlord! Get ready, Juicy, you’s in big trouble.

Hey, Tuhree, there’s no denying this one!

Is Juicy Joe Giudice a Slum Lord?

Is Joe Giudice a “Slum Lord”?

Juicy Joe Giudice is allegedly shirking his landlord responsibilities.  RadarOnline reports today that Joe is $51,000 in debt to the New Jersey Electric Company for one of his apartment complexes.Image

 

“The gas and electricity were shut down,” a local resident exclusively told RadarOnline.com. “Tenants can’t care for their kids and have no heat.”

Apparently,Juicy is accused of collecting utility payments from tenants and pocketing the money instead of paying the bills…hmmmm.

Maybe Joe had a dispute over the meter reading? 

No worries, I am sure that Teresa has a reason to explain such an in-humane oversight and is at the electric company RIGHT NOW cash in hand to pay the bill.

 

ALSO, Juicy Joe Giudice has been trying to share his pulp on the set of Celebrity Apprentice according to Reality Tea.  It seems that our TuhRee yelled out in rage that Juicy was “a cheater” after she learned he was flirting with some of the ladies on set.

I thought Joe just liked to have dinner with family friends? With Juicy’s high moral standards, I am sure that this is just a “hater rumor” (insert sarcasm here)

The WOOVE

The WOOVE- the next big thing!

I wrote this over a month ago and this was originally posted at my old Reality Crackhouse January 19, 2012 entitled Reality Merkins .  Since it’s been such a heavy week of serious blogs, I figured we could use a laugh so I decided to bring it over here too…

Cindy Beavershop announced her own line of merkins this week. 

A merkin is a pubic wig. Yes, the Beave has decided to market a product that waxes you bare down there and then replaces the natural hair with a decorative cover.  BRILLIANT and Bravo!

Inspired by the Beave, I decided to design a line of Merkins based on reality show stars named

 WOOVE- Woo with a Weave

I had a glue gun and feathers, so I got right to work. 

 I’m wearing a prototype and I have to say that not only does it tickle, but I have surprised my Gyno, an ultrasound technician and my husband this week with my new “flare” down there!

Here’s the Hairy Cohen inspired by Bravo’s Andy Cohen (also available in the Ramona)

 

Here’s The BigVag  inspired by the Boss of Mobwives’ Big Ang.

It comes with insertion stem and security pin.

 

Here’s The Pinky aka The Vagerpump inspired by Lisa Vanderpump.

Here’s The IlluminatedSlutPig inspired by Brandi Glanville, the light of RHOBH this season.

 

This is the Joo-dichay inspired by the ever fashionable Teresa Giudice.

Every skinny girl needs a skinny merkin inspired by Bethenny Frankel.

In an effort to appease PETA since they got so mad at the Beave for using real feathers in her line,

I’m thinking ahead….

This is the Plastic inspired by Adrienne Maloof. 

 

What do y’all think, do I have a chance in making it big with the Woove?? 

(Thanks google images)

Who’s Laughing Now?

I am loving this season of the Real Housewives of Orange County.

You know you are real friends when you make your buddy scramble her own damn egg whites at 2:40pm in the afternoon on what could only be a Saturday because Vicki has a JOB>she WORKS!  She doesn’t have time for Tamra or her eggs during a workday.  

(Did you notice the clock in Vicki’s kitchen-horrible videographer mistake)

………….12 minutes later Tamra is eating her curds and Vicki is acting pissed about the Gretchen reconciliation.  Vicki can’t believe that after all Tamra and Gretchen have been through that they can just move forward.  Vicki’s voice must be going through the change because she let out a cacckkaaw that I’ve never heard before when imitating Tamra and Gretchen’s makeup conversation.

Vicki is a hoot when the sex toys come out at brunch calling them pornographic.  LOL- I wonder what her freak number is.  I bet Brooks would tell me.  I can picture the headline now: 

WORLD EXCLUSIVE:  Vicki Gunvalson’s Freak Number Revealed

LOL at my “World Exclusives” y’all know I’m joking about those right? I don’t take my blog that seriously.

Alexis’ boobs in the Heather made her look like a porn star. 

Honestly, they don’t add to her appearance in any way.  I want a boob job, but those suckers are sooo big they are distracting.  

Alexis is very nervous with Eyebrow and I like it.  Eyebrow takes over ordering cold sake for the table and asking about Alexis’ life.  Alexis lies to Eyebrow in order to compete and tells her that she’s an anchor for some TV station in San Diego.  Alexis, I think you meant pee-on field reporter for the TV station, not anchor.  An anchor sits at the news desk everyday while a reporter/correspondent is in the field every day.  There are no such things as once per week/ month ANCHORS.  Unless your business card says otherwise, I’m going to keep calling you a reporter.  Alexis, despite what Jill Zarin and her sister may have told you, there is NOTHING wrong with being a mother and a sometimes field reporter- in fact, it’s awesome!  I would love that job!

Tamra is my favorite housewife on the series and now that she and Gretchen are buds again, I am loving Gretchen.   I really think she’s trying to have a friendship with Tamra and she seemed genuine when she asked/told Slade not to mention the “women” in his first stab at stand-up comedy.

Tamra and Eddie go on a hike and they discuss moving in together.  I understand the hesitation on Tamra’s part to become dependent on someone again so it is admirable that she doesn’t want to just put all of her stock in Eddie’s cabinet.    

Tamra, please burn this shirt. 

It is hideous and should never touch your non-food-lovin body again.  Was it free?  Did you buy it off eBay from Housewives past?  Did Eddie give it to you?  You did NOT buy that hideous affliction/EdHardy/doucheday shirt.  I know you better than that, don’t I?

At dinner, Tamra is still undecided to whether or not to move in with Eddie and he is genuinely supportive.  I like them together.  So, we learn that Simon moved in with his girlfriend Catushia Ienni.  I hope all is well.

Gretchen bombed in her opening for stage-so much for a crowd warmer, but she pulled it off in the end with her abs and cute personality.  She is a good little hostess and TV commercial Jessica Simpson type.

Slade, don’t quit yer, uh, non-job.  You aren’t going to go far on that tour anytime soon.  My husband tells me that he tried to do stand-up one time at an open-mic night and it was BRUTAL.  I consider my husband the funniest guy I know (outside of professional comedians) when he’s being silly -so for him to not be able to pull it off is surprising.

BUT, that being said- Slade faced it and wasn’t THAT bad.   I’m sure that those patrons did not have to pay for the show, so they were there as a “prop” if you will. 

Speaking of props/crowds for filming:  Before my 5 year old was born, when I was still in PR full time, I worked with ABC on an episode of Extreme Make*ver for an aspiring female Country Music Star.  After her procedures, she was to film a concert with Billy Ray Cyrus at the Country M*sic Hall *f Fame.  We couldn’t BEG the tourists to come into a FREE concert.  No one wanted to see Billy Ray perform even for free in the amazing theater.   The episode never made it air because of ABC’s schedule, but somewhere-there is footage of it.

This was about 8 months BEFORE Hannah Montana aired …anyway after filming, I saw this little 13-year-old girl standing by the bathroom and started talking to her and I learned that she was Miley, Billy Ray’s daughter.  She told me that she was also a singer/actress about to move to LA and I just smiled and nodded like okay, that’s nice…

FAST FORWARD to about 15 months later….my daughter’s fifth birthday theme was…Hannah Montana and I was buying everything with Miley’s face all over it.  Anyway, I love that story, because you never know who’s gonna make it especially in Nashville.

After the comedy showcase, Gretchen is pissed at Slade for all the digs he took at Tamra and Vicki and I don’t blame her.  Slade seems a bit psycho about it, but she can’t expect him to move on just because she has.

What did y’all think about the OC?  It’s so beautiful there.  I love the shots of the ocean-I would love to live on the beach.  All I have to look at around here are some honky-tonks and country music stars.   

Follow me on twitter @bravotvlover

Is this TRUE Brandi Glanville?

Sounds like this is Brandi Glanville and Gerard Butler to me…  She said he was a 11 on a scale of 1-10! 

PROOF

I currently have four photos in my possession that could erase doubt in your minds about the infamous Mark/Russell/Jennifur/Taylor poolfight. 

But…what’s the point?

Some of you are so wrapped up in the “witch hunt” that you aren’t willing to see the evidence of abuse before you. 

Three of the photos are of one of the victims of that horrible night but I cannot show the photos. 

I wish I could so that I could prove my point, but I can’t due to legal reasons.

The photos are just as described in the book with injuries consistent to what you would expect from the violence described in the book Hiding From Reality and from Jennifur’s story

However, I’m convinced that most of you would never be satisfied with viewing these photos because it might cause you to have to admit that you’re wrong.  Ahhh, maybe its time for a humility lesson

I admitted I was wrong to Russell’s childhood friend Randy Edwards this morning .  I retracted some information in my original interview with Jennifur in order to lessen the pain on Russell’s parents.  I apologized and asked for forgiveness.  Admitting you’re wrong is difficult and Pride is a dangerous thing.  I’m no saint, but when my heart is convicted to do the right thing…I do it.

What do you want from Taylor? 

Do you want her off your favorite TV show? 

Do you want her to hold a State of Taylor Address on Bravo at 8pm on Thursday and answer your toughest questions?

Do you want her to cease to exist?  If so, please don’t say it.  That’s not funny.

What is it? 

I would rank the housewives fan hate level to be similar to the hate level of Jill Zarin at her hatepeak and tweeters still don’t leave Jill alone so don’t tell me that you only want Taylor off Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. 

I still see hateful tweets to Jill everyday.  I may have even jokingly asked her how Dallas was for goodness’ sakes but I don’t want to burn her at the stake. It’s a TV show.

Some of you are so hateful that I don’t know how you live with yourselves. 

I’ve blocked some HATEFUL people so I don’t see their tweets to me and that block button is a beautiful thing.  I’ve never had to block a tweeter until yesterday, but you don’t see ANYTHING.  So, all of you that have been blocked by a bravoleb and you incessantly tweet, they don’t see it unless they search the @’s (which I doubt they do)

Some other “timeliners” leave the harassment of Taylor out of it and dig in on their own.  PLEASE NOTE THAT I’M NOT CALLING EVERYONE THAT DOUBTS A “HATER”.  I know there are differences in doubt and hate.  If you haven’t excessively hate tweeted Taylor then I’m not even addressing you.  I encourage you to think twice before you tweet mean and hateful things to Taylor.  Others that doubt take a less hateful approach and just ignore her.  Can you be a doubter and not include her in your hate?  Are you displacing your real-life anger onto Taylor? 

Where do all of your conspiracy theories come from?  Was 9-11 an inside job? Is there an Illuminati? PUHLEASE.

I honestly read someone’s twitter timeline today that stated that “she” believed that the Bazaar Daily News mishap was a trap set by Jennifur/Taylor to feed bogus information to readers in order to see if they would be stupid enough to retweet it. 

OMGosh- are you kidding me? Now, it is a big, planned conspiracy when you make a mistake?  Can you not admit fault at all? 

 Chirping Twit did- she admitted her mistake by believing the 16 year old kid and she owned it and kudos to her.

With all of the crazy conspiracy theorists out there, NOT posting the photograph is the right thing to do at the present time.  

Believe me, after all that I’ve written about over the last few weeks, I want to show the world these photos.  

The tweets that I received this afternoon asking me about the authenticity of the photos is what finally proved to me that all of you who doubt will continue to doubt even if I showed the one photo that I can show right now.  So, what’s the point?

Taylor Armstrong says she is a victim of domestic violence and I’ve never believed it more than I do right this moment.  It is a damn shame that Taylor is doubted this way.

Blogger Proof? Be vewwwyyyyy, vewwwwwy careful.

Wow.  Taylor Armstrong is a hot topic.  I could post a blog with nothing else than her name and photograph and housewives across America would comment with their timeline information. 

I’ve been there as a doubter-as I told you, I researched the heck out of Taylor Armstrong.   If you must bring up a witness to Taylor’s abusive past to try to discredit her as a witness to the “ninja pool fight” , then it is only fair to bring up a commenter’s or a blogger’s past if they are on the opposite side of the fence. 

What if I told you that a popular blogger was actually a man who had been arrested for domestic violence?  Would that discredit your source of Taylor Timeline “information”?  What if I told you that a popular blogger had been diagnosed with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder?  If so, it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility that such a disturbed blogger would make up stories, half-truths, or innuendo about Taylor. 

Would that make you question your source?

In the last 24 hours, a source of information Bazaar Daily News has linked to my blog with Jennifur Diamond.  

HOWEVER, Bazaar Daily News claimed that Shanna Hughes (aka Taylor) had completed her name change on a FELONY name change form.  This news source seemingly manipulated the form to make it look like Taylor had been convicted of a felony by cropping off only the top portion of the form.  This rumor that “Shana” had been convicted of a felony spread through twitter like wildfire and an “excited” poster even left a comment on this blog that Taylor was a convicted felon. 

Not so fast.  There has been no evidence that Taylor has ever been convicted of any crime, much less a felony.  The form was manipulated in such a way to lead us to the decision that Taylor had admitted to a felony by completing THIS version of the form.  I hope Taylor takes a look at this posting on Bazaar Daily and forwards it to her attorney. 

This same website posted the only “proof” that we would need to show that Taylor Armstrong is a liar.  They are not only looking under Taylor’s name (they won’t find it there) but this police officer is inferring that the abuse didn’t happen.

This email is questionable. If it is real, then that officer should be reprimanded for stating  that Taylor’s name changes were for a suspicious reason.

But, then, the “FOUNDER” of the website claimed that he didn’t know anyone in law enforcement and that it was a member of his “staff” that communicated with the police.

The owner of Bazaar Daily News is a high school kid.  YEP- high school…. he admits it here. 

I wish him well, and I hope he didn’t just step into some dangerous territory.  Maybe his parents should know about him playing investigative reporter wars online…. just sayin’.

My point is this…be vewwwwwy careful with your sources of information.  If you are truly trying to prove Taylor, Jennifur, Dwight or even me.. wrong, then you just took about 100 steps backwards by forwarding these tweets and believing all of what you read online to be truth. 

I’ve been challenged NUMEROUS times over the last few weeks and I’m talking to people directly involved.  I’ve been accused of being paid (wish I were) being jedi-mind tricked and being Taylor herself (I like her hair and her shoes) so quit challenging ME and challenge YOUR sources.

I realized about a month ago that I was basing my entire doubt of Taylor on the timeline and information from ONE housewives website.  I believed it all as truth without doing any checking on my own. 

Once I researched on my own, I found out that Taylor was never married to Jeremy Sipes.  Taylor had no ill intent in the changing of her name twice and I found no evidence of Taylor parading herself around as an heir to the Ford Motor Co.  (other than an email on 1 hw blog from someone who “met” her but they wouldn’t provide their name)

Do I like people who act like they have money but they don’t? NO- I hate it when people are fake.  Do I agree with her taking Kennedy to the book signing?  Absolutely not.  Do I think that she has done some things in her life that I wouldn’t have?  Absolutely. 

But, not liking her decisions does NOT mean that Taylor wasn’t abused. 

If you can show me video, REAL emails, texts to prove that Taylor ever passed herself off as a Ford heiress, or anything fraudulent at all- I mean really fraudulent, then please email me bravotvlover@yahoo.com  I will post it if it is actual proof.

As Jennifur Diamond said “Where do they come up with this shit?”

WORLD EXCLUSIVE:Taylor Armstrong’s BFF Jennifur speaks

Jennifur Diamond

After my interview with Dwight Coates, I asked Taylor Armstrong if it was okay if I contacted Jennifur Diamond, Taylor’s best friend “Jennifer” as mentioned in the book Hiding From Reality. Jennifur witnessed the fight between Russell Armstrong and her then fiancé Mark and in order to further clarify Taylor’s recollection of events, I wanted to speak with her.

As you know by now, I believe that Taylor Armstrong was abused by her late husband Russell. I didn’t hear back from Taylor right away as she was on her book tour, so I contacted Dwight who told me how to contact Jennifur. In the meantime, when she found time, Taylor told me that Jennifur and Mark wished to stay out of the spotlight. So, I was willing to let it go and move on. To my surprise, Jennifur answered my private message that she would speak with me this week and I awoke this morning to an email with her private cell number and a message to call her. I called her this afternoon and we spoke for about an hour.

This is the FIRST time Jennifur has spoken to any blogger, magazine, website or TV show about the abuse that Taylor suffered at the hands of Russell Armstrong. Over the past few months, Jennifur has been contacted by many media outlets in order for her to sell her story, but she wished to remain private. Jennifur has divorced Mark, and did not feel comfortable selling her story as it was his story as well. However, as one of Taylor’s best friends, she could not sit quiet any longer as she witnessed the mean comments and questions that Taylor receives on a daily basis. Jennifur tells me that she has known Taylor for 12 years and over the last few weeks, she has been receiving calls from several media outlets, Access Hollywood, RadarOnline, etc.. but she has not called them back.  So, I am happy that she took the time to talk to little ‘ole me.  I hope this will help to end the thousands of fans who doubt Taylor’s abuse story.

BTVL: Many fans doubt the validity of Taylor’s abuse claims, especially the horrific account of the unbelievable fight between Mark and Russell.

(Jennifur) Over the course of the time that she was with Russell, nobody really knows this, but I had five or six pictures in my phone of with her black eye, with handprints around her neck, cuts inside her mouth, and I had these in my phone and had I not lost one of my cell phones a year and a half ago, I would still have my pictures which would probably would have helped her out a little bit more. Because she would always come to me with her fights with Russell.

What happened in the book was a little shady (in Taylor’s memory) and what she detailed in the book wasn’t as bad as it really was. (Meaning what really happened was WORSE than Taylor remembered/ described) Russell had punched my husband in the back of the head and knocked him into the pool, in the deep end of the pool, and my husband had tried to get out of the pool and Russell was punching him in the face.

Now, this whole incident that I’m telling you about, that Taylor put in the book, was caught on video because I have video cameras all over my house. This happened in May of 2009. The whole incident was about 18 minutes long. I was trying to get Russell away from my husband in the pool. He threw Taylor in the pool, he threw me in the pool, um, what had happened when he saw Taylor trying to get out, Russell ran to the other side of the pool and held Taylor under water for about 50 seconds.

And the reason I know the time, once again, is because it was on video. This was horrific, a horrific thing that happened. My husband had to go to the emergency room in an ambulance. He had to get like, 30 stitches in his face, I had to have a plastic surgeon to the ER at 3 o’clock in the morning, Russell knocked out all his teeth. This was not a minor incident. Even reading it in the book, didn’t make it sound as bad as it really was.

My backyard…my backyard, the pool deck looked like a crime scene there was blood all over the pool deck, there was blood all over the outside glass doors. Russell ripped out a 3 inch piece of skin that had hair attached that was laying on our deck that I found the next day. This was as horrific that you can imagine. Since there were 3 of us (against Russell), if it had just been Russell than I think he would have killed my husband or Taylor but because there was one more person, (inferring that’s how they survived) he’s running around the pool, trying to keep my husband in the pool, trying to keep Taylor in the pool. It was a bad situation.

Taylor’s recollection is cloudy because she was in a fight or flight situation. It was about as bad as you can imagine. That being said, there are just so many instances that I ‘ve seen her come to my house. She lives one street over and there have been numerous occasions that she’s come to my house after Russell has beat her up. This is not her just telling me, I actually saw bruises on her, there was one time where Russell had punched her in the mouth and her mouth was all bloody.

There was one time where there was an incident after she’d known Russell for about 3-4 weeks and we went to Vegas and I can’t remember what we were talking about but Russell didn’t like what he had heard and he actually lunged at me one time. That, for me, he wasn’t my boyfriend, but I knew from the beginning that this guy had a serious problem with anger. For me being her friend as long as I have, I’m not in the spotlight with her, but I’ve been with her.

I went to the funeral with her, and been here for her and it’s a little bit disturbing for me to hear what some people are saying about her at this point because I’ve been here for 6 years and seen it in person and I understand that people that are using these timeframes (TIMELINES) and saying this and that doesn’t make sense…and I can tell you that like even with her and I, she doesn’t remember a lot, this whole relationship with Russell has been such a blur for her.

I think that she’s taken such abuse from people criticizing her, that I decided to talk to you. I realize that I am pretty much the only person that has seen all the physical signs on her …all the bruises.

She goes on to corroborate the account that Taylor describes where Russell was listening outside the fence of her home and that’s why he was so mad that day and provoked the fight.

It was never a secret to me or my husband or people close to us what was going on and if I could have gotten her away from Russell, I would have done it earlier. She’s was in love with him and there was nothing anyone could do to get her away from him. I told many people that this guy is either gonna kill her and kill himself or something bad is going to happen. Because that night that I saw him doing what he did at my house, it was a completely blank person, his eyes were completely black. It was like you were looking through this person. That has a lot to do, it was so horrific, with why I didn’t want to talk about it, we wanted to put it behind us. We were going to sue Russell at one point.

BTVL: Yes, that is one of the big questions- is there a police report, why were there no charges?

There was a police report, we filed a police report, and the police were at the hospital as well. I had actually, just until 3 months ago kept Russell’s blood stained shirt hanging in my laundry room because I just never knew what was going to transpire from him. We filed a police report. But, Russell went home, changed his clothes and filed a police report at another police station saying that Mark had assaulted him. He didn’t realize that this whole thing had been caught on video. I guess he (Russell) dropped it, or didn’t pursue it (the police filing).

Taylor, the next day, I took my husband to get his teeth fixed, Taylor was in bad shape, crying and pleading with us not to press charges. Because, they had no money, they were completely flat broke. I knew Housewives weren’t going to be good for them after this incident. She said she would pay for the medical bills, but they were behind on their rent so she begged us not to sue. Russell kept Taylor in the dark on a lot of things (financially). My husband , it was embarrassing for him because he really wanted to sue Russell for what had happened.

I have pictures of what my husband looked like after. But, yes, there was a police report.

BTVL: Do you have a copy of that (the police report)?

I don’t. I don’t have a copy of it. It was a bad… I tried to brush this under the carpet because of what Taylor, coming to us, begging us, over the course of 2-3 weeks, finally we said we weren’t going to pursue it. Taylor and I didn’t speak for, I wanna say a little over a year. Her and I have never had problems or issues, but because of what Russell did it put a strain on our (friendship). I mean I can tell you this was not a joke.

We (Taylor and I) started talking a little after I separated from my husband. I tried to slowly get her away from Russell and help her. When I see these people say these horrible things about her and seeing numerous bruises on her over six years, not one or two, but several that I actually took pictures of, there were more that I saw that I didn’t take pictures of but I started documenting in 2006-2007 there had been many more before that.

BTVL: I understand that it isn’t ALL your story to tell, it is also your ex-husband’s story to tell, but do you have any pictures that you would be willing to share, a hospital receipt, something of that nature?

I do have all that, but because of the situation with my ex-husband, I don’t feel right about releasing those. We have a daughter together.

BTVL: People really question Taylor’s name changes and even your name changes.

Taylor is really suffering. She can’t (bear to) read most of her twitter stuff, she’s holding up fairly well, but she’s really suffering. People don’t see that and I get it. Because, if I’m (one of us/fans) just listening to things and read things out there and the tabloids- I get where some are coming from because a lot of things don’t add up (from what’s online) but even my name change has come up.

I changed my name in 1995 (before I met Taylor) but legally changed it on my driver’s license and credit cards in 2003 because there was a guy that stalked and held me at gunpoint for three days and he ended up serving jail time. It’s just ironic that they’re saying that Taylor and I changed our names at the same time.

I met Taylor and she was Shana Taylor, but we all called her Taylor. I was the one that told her to change it to Taylor because doctor’s offices, etc..other people got confused and thought her name was Taylor Taylor. Then she changed it to Taylor Ford and people say she tried to act like part of the Ford family. And then she ended up marrying Russell shortly after she changed her name.

People think she’s running from something and it’s kinda funny on this side of things, but people reading this really believe that there’s some ulterior motive. My name change had nothing to do with the other. Taylor is my middle name, that’s just a coincidence. Taylor is my middle name and has nothing to do with Taylor. I hear things that people say about me and people don’t even know me.

People don’t see the 6 years of abuse, but she was also a prisoner of Russells and she had to answer the phone immediately or he would call her a whore and accuse her of cheating on him. It’s just really sad that people abuse her on twitter. I probably wouldn’t have spoken to you if I didn’t see the position that she’s in. I wish I could help you more (with photos, etc…) but I can’t because of my ex-husband.

BTVL: Why didn’t the District Attorney press charges?

Probably because of us, because we wouldn’t press charges. I love Taylor, but she really put me in a bad position because she put me in that position with my husband and with her. I was really angry with her for weeks, she would beg me not to press charges. Russell called my husband like everyday for like a month because Russell wanted to see how my husband was doing but my husband was pissed off. There were a lot of things going on with Russell calling even that Taylor was unaware of.

BTVL: Do pitbulls swim?

That’s another thing…Taylor… I have a French bulldog and an English bulldog… Russell threw my French bulldog in the pool and he can’t swim. My English bulldog can swim but my French bulldog cannot.

BTVL: Taylor called it a pitbull…

Taylor isn’t really a dog person. To her, everything’s a pitbull…(laughter)

BTVL: Taylor has a lawsuit coming up from My Medical Records. Do you expect to be deposed in that?

No.

BTVL: Why haven’t you appeared on RHOBH?

Because I didn’t want my whole marriage to unfold in front of a camera.

BTVL: Kennedy was seen at a book signing of Taylors and many people feel that it’s insensitive to have Kennedy there because it is a book about her father. What do you think about that?

Well, I know why she did it. There was a tweet, a girl from New Jersey threatened Taylor, I mean, what people don’t understand that Taylor has not at all begun to grieve as much as… she has not grieved. She lives her life minute to minute trying to get through each day. And when that girl, she didn’t know it was girl at the time, she just fell apart. And even though she didn’t know it was a girl from New Jersey she’s really tried to keep Kennedy close.

Does everyone agree? No. She’s doing what she feels that she has to do. She had no intention of taking Kennedy to NewYork until that threat. She’s taking Kennedy everywhere she goes pretty much. She’s still unsure who’s out there that wants to hurt her. That threat really shook her up.

I see things from both sides. I have friends that think she’s messed up and I have friends that really like her, but I’m on the inside… and right now, her judgements are in a state of…sometimes she thinks that Russell’s gonna walk through the door.

Is there anything else you’d like to say to the doubters of Taylors’ this story?

It sounds cliché…but until someone’s in your shoes…passing judgment, I see the pain that I see she’s going through. I ask that people be more kind to her before they pass judgment.

BTVL: People think that Taylor has a shady/scamming past or intent.

Another thing that is really irritating is his family that makes these statements, that Taylor never reached out to us, but both of his parents are [edited] .  But, I’ve been there when they’ve called and said that they want Russell’s watches, clothes and his computer. Which is ridiculous because Russell had nothing. He pawned one of his watches right before he died and left the money on the nightstand and Taylor gave that money to one of the exes for his son’s tuition.

I mean, his family talking about Taylor, were never around that I saw. I met his grandma a couple of times and his mother on one occasion at Kennedy’s first birthday and you could see that she wasn’t right, that something was wrong with her. Maybe those are stories (bloggers )should look into.

BTVL: Someone asked me if she ever marketed herself as a Ford heir through Bravo.

That’s just not true. I mean, when she changed…I was the one who provoked her to just change your last name to something she liked. She always thought Ford was a strong last name and she would say Tom Ford’s so hot, the designer, she never once talked about the Ford Company, and I read that recently and thought “Where do people come up with this shit?” It’s ridiculous.

BTVL: There were a couple of questions that people asked that were very insensitive. One twitter follower wanted to know   if you have received any gifts from Taylor’s blood money.

Blood money? Ugh, (sigh) Not that I can think of. Well, her blood money’s being sucked up by all of Russell’s debt, you can print that. Whatever money she’s been earning has been going right out the door. People are coming out of the woodwork she’s continuing paying off debt of Russell’s. I know people think she’s living high on the hog, but as fast as it’s coming in it’s going out.

BTVL: I know a lot of people have been speculating a relationship between Taylor and John Bluhner, her attorney when she was drunk coming out of a restaurant.

Well, she was drunk. (chuckle) No, I know John, and he’s shooken up about that. But no, they are not an item, some people see a resemblance between he and Russell. Taylor would never date John Bluhner because even in a perfect world, he’s not her type of guy. Not personality wise, so I can tell you that she would not date him not within a year nor five years.

BTVL: Do you think that Taylor has a drinking problem? That’s been another rumor that her friends are trying to get her into rehab.

Well, I think that Taylor is um, from time to time a little bit excessive, but she is … holds it together pretty well, but when they take pictures of her when she’s had too much… Do I think she has a drinking problem? No. I think she has it under control. But, again, she hasn’t taken any time to grieve. She hasn’t taken one week off in the last 6 months to shut the outside world off.

BTVL: Why did she write the book so soon? Do you think it’s too soon?

She’s been journaling for years. It wasn’t three weeks after Russell died, it was a little longer than that. She had been writing for years, when they came to her, we talked about it and we thought it would be good for her to sit down and put it all together and talk about it. It was not overnight as much as it appears that way. Do I think it’s too soon? I don’t know what too soon is. I saw Taylor getting abused for 6 years and she’s been writing about it for years.

Readers:  Please be kind in the comments.  If you have follow up questions for Jennifur,  please leave them in the comments and I will email them to her at my discretion.  Jennifur was extremely supportive of Taylor and very open and honest.  Thank you, Jennifur for your time!

*I’m not responsible for comments as they are unmoderated.  I am also not claiming that Russell’s parents are schizophrenic.

BTVL

Tamra Barney “Eddie and Tequila make me Crazy”

My hubby and I see Kenny Chesney on a regular basis…like almost weekly when he’s in town. .. He’s a very nice guy, and almost unrecognizable without his cowboy hat.

I’m not a HUGE country fan, but this is my favorite song of his:

 

http://www.cmt.com/videos/misc/659891/you-and-tequila-featuring-grace-potter.jhtml

 

I know (from experience allegedly) that tequila can make one do things that are completely out of character.  If you recall, Gretchen had been shooting tequila on the Nekkid Wasted episode too.  In this week’s Real Housewives of Orange County, Tamra was “Crazy Wasted” so she started a fight with Eddie because she loves him so much!

I love you sooooo much that I’m going to start an argument right now because I am “Crazy Wasted” on tequila!

Seriously, Eddie and Vicki were just being silly and only a psycho-drunk would have interpreted them wanting to sleep with each other.

Tamra declared that she was never going to drink again after the Naked Wasted episode.  Remember this from her Bravo blog 1/22/2009:

All the while I was in the bathroom hugging the toilet. I felt really bad about the comment I made when I saw the footage and knew at that time I SHOULD NOT DRINK. One thing I learned from this week’s episode is that alcohol does not mix well with my Indian blood and therefore I should stop drinking. No excuses. Everyone is responsible for his or her own actions, drunk or not.

I know we’ve joked about all of us being psycho fans and we need to go to rehab, but maybe we aren’t the only ones…(I really miss RCH)

If nothing else, Lay of the tequila Tamra- it makes you crazy!

 

 

 Can I just say that Tamra looks better than ever this season?  She looks so… young. I love her hair in Catalina.  It made her look much younger than in her interview talking-head. 

The ladies attend a painting event hosted by Heather “stick up my ass” EYEbrow Dubrow.  I had a little crush on her last week, but this week, I’m not feelin’ it.  Her eyebrows bug me because they look painted or glued on- just a little too perfect… She seems to be acting for the camera and trying to be hoity-toity.  Y’all know that I don’t want my Housewives to engage in any sexual activities on the show, but I don’t mind them shopping for vibrators or discussing silly things like that.  I just don’t want to SEE bathtub scenes, strippers, or Ramona rubbing on Mario… but they can talk all they like because I don’t get a VISUAL! 

Heather uses her professionally developed acting voice to talk to the others and she doesn’t fit in.  Gotta let those eyebrows down girl.  Even the QUEEN of all housewives, Lisa Vanderpump,  has a little fun now and then!  Dr. Eyebrow was just having a little fun at your expense!  If you can’t laugh at yourself- then WE WILL,  sweet girl… we will.

In a perfectly scripted scene or perfectly timed leaked story by producers, Slimey and Gretchen slam Vicki and Brooks.  Let me say it again, child support is necessary and if you aren’t paying ANYTHING toward your children, then you are a pathetic waste of space. 

Be it:  my favorite boyfriend Brooks or Slimey Slade, you gotta take care of your chillens.  I hope that Brooks does financially support his children because  otherwise- he’s perfect for Vicki!  Southern Men are the best if their mama raised them right!

 Alexis and her red pants…ugh.  She’s worn those red pants at least three times while photographed or on camera.  I don’t know why that bugs me but it does.  They’re so memorable that you can’t forget em!

I thought Tamra and Vicki were just playing around, but when Vicki intentionally left without hugging Tamra, it makes me think that more is to this?  Gretchen and Tamra reconciling is awesome in my opinion and it makes me like Gretchen more.  Gretchen was so hateful during the last two seasons that I really disliked her and may or may not have called her Wretchen a time or two.  But, now I really like her again because she made up with Tamra and they buried all the petty BS.  I’m co-dependent with my favorite housewives like that.  I snark on Tamra a lot, but I think that she’s my favorite on this franchise. 

You always hurt the ones you love.

Thoughts on OC?  I’m loving this season so far!

Mobwives-At Last…something interesting

Well, I think that the MobWives only had two restaurant sit-downs this week! Baby steps…Jenn Graziano must read my blog LOL.

This week, we see just how crazy Renee Graziano is with Junyah. There is NO reason that these two should be together as they make each other miserable. Renee is scared that Junyah will cheat on her AGAIN and she believes deep down its because she isn’t skinny/ pretty/young enough. If a guy EVER tells you that he can’t look at you during sexy time–kindly show him and his #peen to the door. Renee is a beautiful girl and has a lot to offer to the right man, but Junyah is not the guy. Thankfully, this guy is out of her life due to his cooperating with the Feds and all and it is the BEST thing for her.

Drita tells us that her parents cut her hair in a buzz cut and sent her to kindergarten where she had to learn to fight her first douchebag. I would LOVE to see that photo! Her arms probably looked the same as they do now on a little five year old body.  Drita says that she wouldn’t fight if there weren’t so many douchebags in her life. I love my secret alter-ego Drita, I feel the same way-but I have to lock it in.

When Drita’s daughter asks her if she’d ever been in a fight- that seemed very staged as the daughter couldn’t keep a straight face…but what about the phone call with Lee? Drita seemed to really enjoy the fact that he admitted to his mistakes (although, in my world that wasn’t an admission) and was like a giddy newlywed all over again. These kids might give it another go as I don’t think she’s over Lee just yet.  I expect an attempt at a reconciliation because Drita doesn’t strike me as the type that can handle her kids being gone every other weekend. (It’s very, very hard)

We find out that Junyah got some chick pregnant during their marriage and the girl works at a salon. Maybe this is the SAME gumar that Lee hooked up with as we do know from Renee that Lee and Junyah both dated Lee’s gumar.

Holy 1 degree of STD separation. So, in a screwed up way, Renee and Drita and Karen have all…..cross-contaminated? Karen slept with Lee who slept with Drita and the salon girl who slept with Junyah who slept with Renee. Let’s hope they didn’t get any new luggage if you know what I’m sayin’. Can you imagine?

Karen is shown at a MobCandy photo shoot/interview for her new book, MOBDAUGHTERI read the book this past weekend. It was a great story, BUT it was written just like Karen speaks. I’m not the greatest writer and my vocabulary can be limited (thanks to brain damage from carbon monoxide poisoning) but I would think an editor would edit out the following sentence:

I was doing everything as anti my father as possible”.

I had to read that sentence 2-3 times to get it straight in my damaged mind. Some of the wording was just awkward, but I think that Karen was honest in telling her story. She tells us in the book that her dad seems to be aging rather quickly in prison due to Graves disease. He’s lost all of his body hair, his teeth are all gone, and he never sees the sun so his skin is gray. I know that he killed 19 people (that he admits to) and since he didn’t do any time for those murders –he deserves to be in prison, but he’s still her dad and I’m sure it hard to see.  Sammy “The Bull” Gravano was the 2nd in command working under John Gotti who turned informant for the FBI. 

Sammy "The Bull" Before

Sammy "The Bull" After

                                                                              

If you are a MobWives fan, I recommend the book because it gives you a peek into such an odd upbringing.  Bethenny Frankel should see what a hard childhood really is.  The mafia wives AND mafia children know a lot and have to look the other way at all times- gumars, guns, and goodfellas be damned.   Karen sold pot in NYC for about a year unbeknownst to anyone in her life other than another “mobdaughter” selling with her.   She and Lee D’Avanzo were very serious, but when they broke up she permanently moved to Arizona and got pregnant, so I see how Drita would think that it was definitely over between Karen and Lee.  Sperm swimage usually solidifies a breakup.  I actually kinda like her after reading the book because I understand her better.

 

 

Ramona was HUMAN this episode! She has a heart- who knew? Her poor kids though. They don’t see their bio father and now the other guy that’s been in their life is in jail.  I was curious so I went a googlin’:  Her boyfriend, according to a few mafia related sites is Joseph “Joe Boy” Sclafini of Prince’s Bay.  There are SEVERAL Joseph Sclafini’s near Staten Island, but one particular story jumped out at me.  It seems Ramona’s dude’s ex-fiance was so upset at the thought of him going away to prison in 2010 that she SLIT HER OWN THROAT!  That is some crazy, crazy luvin y’all.  I’m going to have to google that crazy lady later.  (Do you see how I waste my time when I don’t feel well?)

Joe Boy has had a few run-in’s with the law.  This dude isn’t a casual wiseguy.  So, there is no way Ramona didn’t know what her boyfriend was into.

                                                                                              Supposedly, this is Joe Boy:

 

Joseph "Joe Boy" Sclafini

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/staten_island/wiseguy_goes_to_pot_feds_IkoCG4y3A8Rmf1pIVHwm0H

Joseph “Joe Boy” Sclafani was allegedly involved in helping an assailant evade the Feds for a while and was shot during the apprehension. From wikipedia entry on Costabile Farace:

Shooting and death

A few months after the Hatcher murder, the manhunt for Farace would be over. At 11:08 p.m. on November 17, 1989, police dispatchers received a 9-1-1 emergency call about a car parked at 1814 81st Street in the Bensonhurst section of Brooklyn. The car contained one male occupant, with another male laying face down on the sidewalk, both of whom had just been shot (the call came in as “shots fired”, no other specifics).

Police rushed to the scene and found the two men, one dead and the other seriouly wounded. The dead man was identified as Costabile Farace. He had gunshot wounds to the head, neck, back and leg. According to witnesses, a van had driven alongside Farace’s car and shot the two men nine times. This was the same method that Farace had used to kill Agent Hatcher. The survivor in the car was identified as Joseph Sclafani, a member of Farace’s organization. Sclafani said he fired two shots at the assailants.[4]

In a different version of this story, per the responding officer, Farace was still breathing when police arrived. They placed him in a trauma suite, but he died enroute to the hospital. Sclafani was outside of the vehicle, having been shot out of his shoes. Officers handcuffed him on the scene for weapons possession.”

All About TRH gave some great info from an alleged “insider” about Ramona Rizzo here and here.

Ramona is still living in Joe Boy’s house according to several sources, so she is the most active mobwife in the mafia lifestyle. 

 

Also in this episode of MobWives, Big Ang gets a new puppy, but I think that she should have just gotten a doll. I love ya Big Ang, but the dog hates clothes and it seems a bit cruel to dress up the dog just because its fun. Giggy the Pom has a medical reason for the clothing to keep him from scratching his bare skin. I bought my dog a sweater because he gets cold outside and I also bought him a little Cynthia Rowley puffy vest. HE HATES the vest so I don’t make him wear it, but it is cute- no matter what my husband says.

What did y’all think about Mobwives this week?  It was much better than last week, wasn’t it?

I just finished watching RHOA and fell asleep halfway through Bethenny Ever After, but I’ll give my thoughts later.  Thanks for reading!

Who is Simon Barney’s Girlfriend?

I hate how curious I am sometimes. While writing my Real Housewives of Orange County recap I was thinking how great it is that Tamra seems happy without Simon. Then, I decided to look Simon up on facebook since I hadn’t thought of him in a while. He’s posted a ton of facebook photos of he and his girlfriend who up until this point has been widely known as “Kay”. Curiously, “Kay” isn’t on facebook or twitter. For a girl in her 30′s that is almost unheard of, I kept digging until I uncovered her real name Catushia Leni Ienni. It seems the pretty girl in the photo has a partially clothed modeling history and according to TheDirty.com she marries for money and married some dude a couple of months before dating Simon. Simon looks old enough to be her dad. I wonder if Tammy Sue knows about Catushia’s past? Does Simon? After all, he was soooo concerned with how Tamra represented their family on the show and he always encouraged her to act like a lady. Let’s hope that Catushia has her class-act together! OF COURSE—- THIS IS ALL ALLEGED and I’m in no way saying that Catushia Ienni is a past-hookah! She’s a very pretty girl and I hope Simon knows what’s up!

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Real Housewives of Orange County/ Southern Hospitality

Brooks the boyfriend… yay! I like seeing Vicki so happy with her man and seeing her love tank filled. If you missed my WORLD exclusive twinterview with Brooks Ayers- please give it a read here.   Did y’all think Brooks had a thick southern accent?   Mine is very similar in strength I used to try and change it especially on air, but now I embrace it and I’m sure Heather Dubrow would think I’m cute…

Oh, Tamra you let Tammy Sue out of the trailer tonight.  You know that cringe worthy feeling when someone’s jokes go too far? I was totally uncomfortable watching that interaction. Why oh why would you grab your friend’s man’s hand and put it on your boobaleen? -5 cool points for Tammy Sue. I like ya Tam, but that ranks up there with the AWKWARD bathtub scene.Eddie was completely wasted and looks like being with Tammy Sue has aged him about 10 years. He looked a little like an aging Erik Estrada, no?

WOOF-speaking of looks… Gretchen without makeup is rough. She looks worse than me in the morning. After 5 layers of shellac, she looked awesome, but it was refreshing to see how Slade sees her in the morning – without all the face paint. I can’t put my finger on it but Gretchen had work done since wrapping last season, she definitely had her lips plumped and looks like she had a ton of filler. In my opinion, it makes her look a lot older.

The discussion about Peggy and Jim made me kind of believe that Peggy was a little Fatal Attraction with Jim. She seems like she’s embarrassed NOW, but back when Jim Bellino was looking like this

Peggy might have called into Delilah After Dark on the radio and requested “Nothing Compares to YOU” by Sinead O’Conner  and masked her tears with a Zima or a Strawberry Wine Cooler (Not that I did that or anything) when Jim cut off the Bellino-lovin.  Jim is blogging as the season airs so that he can voice his feelings unedited.  You gotta give the guy props for addressing the negativity head on.

Can I just say that all Southerners don’t eat out of garbage bags? I understand the crawfish/shrimp boil idea, but Vicki failed to put it out on nice trays or just on the paper on the table. I’m not a huge fan of crawfish but I like crawfish étouffée when its made right. Fritos in gumbo,I think not darling. Mississippi and Louisiana and parts of Alabama eat crawfish regularly because of their access to them. Crawfish, like shrimp, are really disgusting if you think about it. They are like the filters of the sea.  It is disgusting watching someone, anyone suck the head of a crawfish—-I’m heading to New Orleans this weekend so I’ll get to experience this quite a few times with my father-in-law and hubby.

I have a little crush on the newbie, Heather even if she was kinda rude to me on twitter.  Monogrammed marble?  That is Vanderfabulous!  Her kids are adorable and I want to party in her foyer.  She’s such a calm mama- with my four kids, I’m a terror getting out of the house when we have to go somewhere.  Sunday mornings on the way to church are the worst–I’m sure my kids will have to have some sort of therapy from PTSD from my Sunday morning meltdowns, but when you can only find one sequined dress shoe for a 9 year old and the other is found in a completely other room underneath a couch pillow that can do that to you—-my little creative hummingbird daughter is a free spirit and can’t keep up with crap.  So, I admire a gentle, meek mama when heading out the door because my hubby and I are complete drill sergeants when we all go somewhere-but it’s getting better as the kids get older. What was I talking about again? Oh, Heather- yes I do like her.  I don’t think that calling Gretchen “cute” is condescending at all.  I say that about people all the time but maybe I’m a total annoying bitch.  Who knows?

Way to be THE most ladylike grown-up of any Housewives franchise ever Alexis!  You did it- you avoided conflict in the best way possible by shutting down Peggah.  In her Bravo blog, Alexis explains that Peg never did ask her to talk it out again.  I’m glad Peggy is not on RHOC anymore because her hair and face bother me. a  lot.

Thoughts on OC?  Is anyone getting burnt out on Housewives or still addicted?  Let me know in the comments.  What about dancemoms?  Anyone watch it?  Anyone want me to blog it?

I’m headed to New Orleans this weekend- 9 hours in the car with 4 kids- doesn’t that sound like fun.  I’ll be tweeting as hubby drives so I might need moral support about 3-4 hours into the drive.

Real Housewives of Atlanta

The spoiled poseurs Real Housewives of Atlanta continue their journey in South Africa.  Honestly, I’m not going to recap the entire episode of any show. If you want a play-by-play of what happened, then might I suggest any of the blogs to my right. Many of them recap each episode and they do it very well.  I like to point out the little things that made me think or giggle or furious or sad,etc…. rather than tell you who said what to whom and where. So…. with RHOA I’m like Kandi, I am OVER these ladies with their label whoring ways. You are in Africa, going on safari and you need hair, make-up, and 7 inch Manolos? What a waste of an experience! If you can’t be yourself and be down-to-earth in South Africa then you are a hopeless piece of crap.  I usually love Nene, but this episode rubbed me the wrong way. You are trying on $500-800 shoes to go on a safari?   What’s so hilarious is that Marlo’s hair still looked like ass even with the help of a hair stylist!  LOL.

Cynthia looked amazing with her African-inspired jewelry, but that hair was a mess. I know she probably wanted a “do” that was low-maintenance, but in no way did it look natural. Nene’s hair looked fabulous and from what I can tell, it’s all hers. I know it is hard for some African-American women to grow and maintain their natural hair, but I would love to see Cynthia with a look like Nene’s. She has such an amazing face and cheekbones that a short pixie would really be attractive.

Kudos to Kandi and Phaedra for also keeping it real in Africa. They have the highest net worth of all the ladies and they don’t flaunt it or act like something they’re not. Although they were dressed SENSIBLY, what was up with Kandi’s jacket? Was there a marching band that I missed?

Marlo in pure-from-the-ghetto-poseur-fashion made it rain in the club for no apparent reason except to draw attention to herself.  I can’t stand those types of people…You know the ones that constantly try to one-up each other or act a fool just for attention. Marlo, you are a pretty girl and you could have really been an asset to this franchise, but you blew it the past two episodes with me. The fight with Sheree for no reason, saying the f-word (gay slur), and the way you acted like a diva really showed your true personality and it is so not fabulous. If the rumors are true and Ted Turner IS Marlo’s sugah-diddy than I hope he watched his little pumpkin Sunday night and docked her allowance. The best line of the night belonged to Phaedra while picking up the money that Marlo threw down saying “I’m gonna owe Marlo a lap dance”. So glad that Kandi and Phaedra were smart enough to pick up Ted Turner’s Marlo’s sugar daddy’s money.

The ladies were all truly engaged with the kids at the orphanage and I was moved to tears watching Phaedra open up about the feelings that she had being around the children. I was soooo not a fan of Phaedra’s last season, but she and Camille must have gone to Real Housewives finishing school because they turned out to be two of my favs this year. Like Tuzentsworth said, how soon we forget.

I’m so glad that they don’t have hearts completely made of plastic because they did give back to the orphanage by buying all sorts of necessities.  But, dear, ugly, appearance-obsessed Marlo would rather spend money on perm kits than toilet paper.

The safari looked amazing (I loved the antelope and the giraffes) and I laughed out loud at the tour guide actually smelling the elephant poop.  What is up with Sheree asking about the SIZE of the butthole of the elephant?  Bish, are you serious? If I had a migraine in the middle of Africa, I doubt I would be burning elephant dung for pain relief, but I would totally play a joke on someone and tell them to do it.

Thoughts on this episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta?  Do I dare say that I’m looking forward to Kim coming back?

Mob Wives- Jenn Graziano has a problem

Show creator Jenn Graziano has a huge problem with Mob Wives.  The plot SUCKS

The women are interesting enough on their own and I don’t want to watch an hour of multiple meals (all these girls do is eat) while discussing Drita and Karen’s argument nor do I want to hear about an argument between Ramona and Carlar(did ya notice how they all put an “r” at the end of Carla) because they’ve apparently NEVER met.  Is this the best the editors can do?  This is supposed to keep me interested each week?

Big Ang is to MobWives what Brandi Glanville is to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills= The best casting decision of the season.  Big Ang is so captivating- I just want to see an hour of her life every week.  She’s like Snooki with an AARP card.  Here are some old photos of Big Ang.  The short-blonde look doesn’t even resemble her in the slightest.

It looks like our Staten Island beauty had some work done since filming the season in her talking head interview. 

 

She looks very refreshed. LOOKING GOOD Big Ang!

In this episode Karen has to borrow Renee’s house for the night because her apartment isn’t nice enough for a spa party apparently.  The spa party consists of Karen (who is an aesthetician- found that out when I tweeted to her months ago that we don’t want to buy skincare from our “wives” that know nothing about skincare and she tweeted back that she’s been an aesthetician for years- she owned me on that one) giving Renee a facial while learning that Carlar isn’t attending the gathering because she wants to go out with her kids and husband Joe. 

I’m actually surprised Carlar didn’t attend because she hasn’t had that much screen time this season and Ramona has been on every episode so far.  Anyway, Renee tells Karen that the REAL reason Carlar didn’t want to attend is because she felt like she was going to be ambushed by Karen and Ramona.  As it turns out Adriana, the spray tanner that sprays people with their clothes on at the spa party, is a frienemy of Carlar’s and it probably would have gone down between Adriana and Carlar at the spa party. 

MMMMHmmmm, Jenn Graziano, you knew that didn’t you?  The interesting part of the set up of this show is that the Executive Producer is FRIENDS with the cast and knows who says what about whom.  If I were Carla and Drita, I would keep an eye on Jenn Graziano because it seems that she is the puppeteer behind the scenes.  She is very close with Karen and Ramona, so I would imagine it would be difficult to be equal and non-biased among the parties involved. 

Drita meets with an old friend that asks her immediately if it is true that Lee is contesting the divorce.  Drita’s veins start popping and you know she is about to lose her mind when she hears this.  I want to see more of Drita in her business (she’s a makeup artist), in her REAL life with her kids, and with her REAL friends.  The problem with this show is that Karen and Drita aren’t in each other’s lives anymore so it doesn’t affect them on a daily basis.  NOW, if Carlar and Drita ever get into an argument, I think it would really hurt Drita’s feelings because they seem very close and it is a natural relationship that isn’t manufactured for the cameras. 

How dare Lee contest the divorce after he cheated on her?  Drita claims that if he DOES give her a hard time, she will pay him a visit in prison and she will end up being his roommate. 

This woman is hardcore.  I swear she is my alter ego.  I think these things, but I don’t voice them.  I’m kinda like Drita in my mind.  Someone cuts me off in car rider line?  “It’s on and poppin’!  Yous need to call an ambulance because Ima come after yous cause yous ain’t got no respect!”  but *sigh* I keep it all inside and just wave politely as all southern ladies do.   One of these days, though….

 

Drita goes over to Renee’s house and they play dress up/makeup (Drita does a good job on Renee’s eyes). Then they try to crack into Junyah’s phone.  Learning that his password is the day his mutha died, Renee is in and listening to his messages.  We hear one with a young lady telling him to call her about the fight and that she loves him, *long pause* but that’s just his cousin.  Then, Junyah comes home and they almost get busted with Junyah’s phone.  Drita tells us that the guilt and adrenaline that she felt when Junyah came home was what it must feel like to have the Feds come after you when you’re a wise-guy.  Hmmm…. I would imagine it’s a little different when you are about to be indicted by the Federal Government, but I could be wrong.

Ramona and Carlar make nice at yet another dinner out (all they do is eat- I swear) but it is more of the same “if you come for me, I’m coming for you crap”.  This constant bickering is petty and it isn’t good TV.  In my opinion, Jenn Graziano has a problem on her hands if the show continues on this story arc.  The cast is brilliant, but the storyline is lame.  I’m sure the ladies of the show agree because how much more of the same can they stomach?

I would love to see Drita dating, Carla and Joe getting back together, Big Ang doing just about anything, Karen dealing with relationships in the aftermath of her father’s snitching and Ramona and her boyfriend’s relationship.  Is that too much to ask?

 

Karen Gravano’s book comes out tomorrow, February 14th.  One of the people that her father allegedly murdered is suing for a portion of the book’s profits.  I will be reading the book and posting a review within the week.  Is anyone planning on reading it? 

 

 

Taylor Armstrong’s Best Friend Speaks: “Twinterview” with Dwight Coates

I’ve read many tweets and comments during the last few days questioning the people closest to Taylor Armstrong.  The first questions anyone asks when learning of the story of abuse is “Who knew about the abuse?  “Why didn’t he or she report the abuse to the police?” “Did anyone see bruising or marks on Taylor’s body that would corraborate her story?”

Sadly, we don’t accept our “yes for a yes and no for a no” anymore in our society.  I’m also a skeptic, so I’m not just pointing fingers.  I find myself trying to decipher if someone has an agenda or is trying to be less than honest with me.  “Am I being cheated in any way?”  “Am I being gullible or naive?”  None of us like to be a sucker and let people take advantage of us.  Skeptics of Taylor Armstrong are very passionate about her perceived dishonesty.  Some people just don’t like her and want her to constantly know about it so they bombard her with hateful tweets.   I understand that feeling completely as  have felt it with other public figures.   I just feel that Taylor has been through enough.  She admits that she has been less than honest with herself and with fans.  What is your motivation in telling Taylor that you hate her?  Does it make you feel better?  Does it get it off your chest?   As much as I don’t like Adrienne Maloof, the Countess or Teresa Giudice on my favorite TV shows, if they were truly hurting with the death of a spouse or divorce, etc…I don’t think I could have the heart to mean-tweet them.  It’s cruel.  Whatever happened to “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”?  Twitter is anonymous for the most part, but are there no boundaries?  As I type this, I’m examining myself too.  I’m not innocent at all.  I’ve said some things and at the time they seem hilarious.  But, ultimately…they hurt more than just the recipient.  We all have to live with our decisions and if you feel right about what you say to Taylor, then by all means tweet away.  But, if you have that tightness-dark-sad feeling in your chest, then maybe you should pause for a moment and consider your motivation.  I had to do that with mean-tweeting Leann Rimes and it changed my course of action completely.  I apologized to her and we made nice.  No one is beyond love and compassion.  Okay, getting off my soapbox now…

Some readers asked for more information and clarification on Taylor’s abuse claims.

I decided that I wanted to hear from someone who would definitely know the truth…someone very close to Taylor…

I reached out to Dwight Coates, Taylor’s best friend—that we’ve seen on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills a time or two— for a “twinterview”.  As with Taylor’s “twinterview” the questions and answers are 140 characters or less so some answers might have words in twitterized shorthand. I have clarified things in parenthesis for clarification where needed.  Several of my questions required multiple clusters of answers so for the sake of space and format, I have combined the answers without changing any wording.

So when did u first learn of the abuse? Did you and R (Russell) get along? Why did u not report to police?

dwightcoates

I didn’t like the way he treated Taylor from the beginning and constantly encouraged her to leave and not to marry Russell.

I did not report to police because Taylor said she would deny it if I did and it would make things worse for her in the end of I did.

She was hopeful Russell would get better and stop his bad behavior, unfortunately he never did.

BravoTVLover

Did u ever see abuse, signs bruising? How is Kennedy? What do u say 2people that say she’s making $ from situation.

dwightcoates

I saw angry, angry text messages that were full of hate and evil. I saw the results of the abuse in bruises over multiple years. Very sad.

I was also in Taylor’s hospital room (with her mom) after Taylor’s Surgery for the damage to her eye. Russell showed up (unexpected)and apologized to Taylor, her mom, and myself for what he had done. This was the last time I saw Russell.

Kennedy is doing VERY well and is a very well adjusted child who loves her Mom and Grandma that she calls Mimi. This

story (Hiding from Reality) is a story that needs to be told. Writing her story was very cathartic for Taylor as she used

her journals to help herself and other women affected by this cycle.

I am very proud of Taylor for standing up for this cause so close to her heart as she heals herself and seeks to help

others in the cycle.

BravoTVLover

How long have you been friends? Did you know of the Jennifer/Mark story when it happened? (The Jennifer/Mark story is the one where Russell overheard the fiance of a friend (Mark) ask Taylor if she needed a place to go and when Russell overheard he assaulted Mark)Would u say Tay is an honest person?

dwightcoates

Taylor and I have been friends for almost 15 years. Yes, I am also friends with Jenn and heard from her and Taylor after the incident

It was a very bad action and I was highly concerned for Taylor’s wellbeing even more after happened. This happened in May of 2009.

Taylor is a wonderful person and it upsets me people question her honesty. No woman would ever lie about abuse.

BravoTVLover

Did R (Russell) dislike you or try to make T (Taylor) stop talking to you? Why do u think it took so long for her to leave?

Did u know her before name change?

dwightcoates

Russell did not like nor dislike me considering he knew that I knew the  Truth about their marriage. Russell was always

nice to me. Taylor always sees the best in people and hoped Russell would change.

Sadly he did not change. And Yes, I have always known Taylor as Taylor

BravoTVLover

What would u like to say to the doubters of Taylor’s story?

dwightcoates

Taylor is a kind woman who gives her all for her friends and family. Strip away the 90210 idea and u have a normal girl fighting with adult Drama and problems and doing the best she can.

BravoTVLover

I’m abt (about) to write up our little q/a is there anything else u want to say to fans? Do u think it’s too soon for Taylor to write this book?
How aware was Taylor of the financial situation? Did she ever talk about money w (with)you?
 
 
To the fans of RHOBH: Thank you for the support you have shown to my friend Taylor during this difficult time. She is doing so much better

She is surrounded by a strong support system including fellow housewives Kyle Richards and Lisa Vanderpump.

I can’t wait for fans to see Taylor return to her normal self. Season one showed a stepford wife. Season two showed a woman and marriage Spinning out of control. Taylor is the fun “it girl” and I can’t wait for people to see her super fun side as well.

To answer your finance question w didn’t know it was as bad as it was until the end. Russell hid this part of his life very well sadly…

I am glad the book is out now… The subject is fresh and can help others in similar situations!

I’m hopeful that she can heal and move forward to the nxtchapter and she can return to the fun,exciting and vibrant lady that we love so much.

Thank you Dwight Coates for taking the time to answer my questions about what you witnessed in regards to Taylor and Russell Armstrong.  There is ONE thing that believers and skeptics agree on and that is the well-being of all of Russell’s children.  We wish all of the survivors of the suicide tragedy healing and peace.  Ultimately, it was Russell who decided to harm his children and rob them of a father.  You can blame Taylor all you want for hurting Russell’s children with the book and the interviews, but Russell is to blame for this tragedy.  I’m sorry that Russell Armstrong lived a life of inner discord and chaos.  It is a shame that he felt so helpless and couldn’t consider the faces of his children or the face of his mother before he selfishly took his own life.  It is also unfortunate for Taylor as she is the abused wife picking up the pieces her abuser left behind.

My “twinterview” with Taylor Armstrong

As you already know, I believe that Taylor Armstrong was abused by her husband Russell Armstrong.   I was like many who doubted the validity of some of her claims based on what was reported on some stoopid blogs and by what outsiders have stated.  I wasted a lot of my time on the “timelines” who is Jeremy Sipes?  Who is Jennifur Diamond/Taylor, yada yada. 

Why did I care so much?  I think that deep down I want to know who people really are.  I like the chase on google.  I once found a blogger online by his middle and last initial.  It took forever, but it was like a game to me- I found him and I felt like I had just won an Olympic medal because he had stated that NO ONE would ever find out his real identity.  So what?  It’s a hobby.   I enjoy web super-sleuthing public figures and even some stoopid bloggers.  I never outed the blogger, but he ended up outing himself.  I would never out anyone’s true identity unless it was essential to someone’s well-being.

 

So, please respect-I have done my research- I’ve read the blogs, timelines, points-of-view, and THIS IS MY OPINION> and I know I’m in the minority, and that’s okay by me.  It isn’t easy being out here alone with only a few others, because frankly- it is easier to snark on Taylor Armstrong than it is to defend my feelings about her.  So far, I’ve only blocked one Taylor parody smart-ass because they were disrespectful to me but I would never fight with true fans of the show because most of you all are my friends on twitter.

Interestingly enough, MOST of the tweeps that I’ve heard from do believe that Taylor was abused but they don’t like her, her method of telling her story, and/or they doubt some of her recall of the events that took place in her very own life.  I know Russell’s sister, Randy What’sHisFace, and Russell’s exes have come forward in support of Russell’s reputation and I would hope that friends and family would defend his honor.  BUT, WHAT IF THEY’RE WRONG?  What message are we sending domestic violence victims by doubting a widow’s story?  I didn’t want that on my conscience to be honest, so that’s why I read the book.  I don’t ever want to have to answer to God for my public flogging of someone that is more than likely a severe victim of domestic violence.  

What was I basing my doubt on?  A stoopid blogger, my instinct, an old friend of Russell’s?  NO- I didn’t like how Taylor’s story had become the whole story on my favorite housewife franchise.  It’s laughable really.  I decided to ask Taylor a couple of questions that weren’t answered in the book.  Taylor was gracious enough to follow me so that I could ask these questions and she was so kind to have answered them.  Let’s face it- she owes me nothing.  I’m a nobody to her other than a cute avatar on twitter.  I’m a faceless fan among millions and so are all of you.  

 

So Here is my little twinterview with Taylor Armstrong of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  Remember the questions were only allowed to be 140 characters so the q/a’s are somewhat abbreviated.

 

 

BravoTVLover:  1. Did Russell tell people that u were from Ford auto fam or was that u trying to recreate background?

 

TaylorArmstrong

Thank u. Not sure what Russell told people about Ford but I did not say that there was a connection to motor co. I have said that already.

 

BravoTVLover:  2. was the Adrienne/godmother story real or producer idea to tie u 2 together (for show)?

TaylorArmstrong

Adrienne and I were friends prior to show and our children went to school together. I did ask her to be Kennedy’s godmother.

15 hours ago Delete

 

BravoTVLover:   3.  I’m getting a lot of q’s bc fans don’t want 2 believe it. Its amazing the hate u receive.

 

 

TaylorArmstrong

I don’t understand the hate. It is frightening to me for those who need to leave but are now afraid they won’t be believed.

15 hours ago Delete

TaylorArmstrong

Glad you liked the book. I wrote it so people would understand the cycle of violence, get out early and support others who are stuck in it.

15 hours ago Delete

 

 

BravoTVLover  4.  Is Jeremy Sipes the name of your cheer partner that u lived with that cheated on you? Were u ever married to him like some people claim?

 

TaylorArmstrong

Yes Jeremy was my cheer partner that I lived with and we were NEVER married.

 

 

I asked and she answered one more question but I’m choosing not to provide that answer yet. You’ll see why in another blog.

 

I find that Taylor is amazingly open and honest.  If she had pretended or misrepresented herself to anyone that she was a member of the Ford Automotive Family then she would be owning it now as she admitted to much more embarrassing things than that in the book. 

 

I have a few more blogs coming on this topic, but I urge you all to give Taylor another chance on the show, on twitter, but most importantly as a human being.  She has suffered enough and doesn’t deserve the incessant bullying that she is receiving on twitter.  I know that many of us bond over our dislike of certain housewives, and boy is it fun.  But this is different than making fun of Teresa’s accent or MaloofHoof. 

 Thank you Taylor for answering these questions when you most certainly did not have to!

 

 

 

 

Hiding From Reality Taylor Armstrong Book Review

Image

My name is BravoTVLover and Yes, I bought Taylor Armstrong’s book.  I decided last week that I could not be a nay-sayer or a complete doubter until I read her entire side of the story. I really didn’t want to write this book review.  The reason being is that so many “haters” of Taylor’s have their minds made up and it won’t matter that I detail her side of the events, some people just want to find any word/any small inconsistency like the use of “home” to describe going to her hotel room to discredit her entire abuse story.  I know that this is a sensitive issue and I feel sorry for Russell’s family and children, but here’s what- NOBODY knows what happens between spouses when the doors are closed.  I have experienced abuse at the hands of an ex and even my family didn’t believe me at first until it was admitted.  So, just because Russell was a good friend, brother, son, or father does not mean that Taylor wasn’t hurt. 

Yes, she changed her name a few times and that always seemed so shady to me.  But, she explains it. Yes, her behavior was annoying season one (and two with the meltdowns) but she explains it. Taylor explains it all…

I’ve read all the lines of “time” (do you like how I switched that up) and I’ve read all the “proof” that Taylor is lying but in the book she addresses most of my questions.  I believe this woman was abused by her husband.  She has suffered enough and I am not going to continue to question her on her life story anymore.  Should she have written a book so close to his death? No, it isn’t something I would do, but I didn’t suffer like she has.  She has a financial mess on her hands and she was paid a lot of money to write her story.  She is donating money to domestic violence organizations as she tweeted the other day. 

This book synopsis took almost 4 hours to type, so please if you “borrow” please give me some credit.  There are many stories I left out and this is not the entire book and I encourage you to buy the book.

She starts off detailing the abuse that we’ve heard about before where she was between 2-3 and she remembers pulling her daddy’s hair to get him to stop hitting her mother.   Taylor’s mother then leaves her dad and struggles to raise Taylor as a single mother throughout her childhood.  Her mother worked multiple jobs in order to provide for Taylor and herself and Taylor felt that her mother was always crying. Her mom was only 21 when she had Taylor and looking back Taylor feels that her mom must have been extremely lonely. Taylor had very little contact with her biological father once her parents divorced as he moved on and had another family.  She said her visits with him filled her with dread.  She describes her dad as intimidating and when he was angry with her he would use her entire birth name:  Shana Lynette Hughes.  “ ..I think this association is one of the reasons that I always hated my name.  I never felt like Shana Lynette Hughes. And because I didn’t like who I was, or the life I’d been born into, I always felt there was someone else I needed to be. “Hiding From Reality 

She tells us that she always wanted to trade names with her “normal” friend name Melissa who was a child of a traditional family living in a nice home with a white picket fence. She was embarrassed of her humble living conditions because divorce wasn’t as common as it is today.  They moved a lot and she had a lot of inconsistencies growing up and Taylor never really wanted her friends to know how she lived eating fish sticks and macaroni and cheese.   She felt abandoned by her dad because she didn’t have much to do with him and she had very low self-esteem.  Taylor tells us that she started having boyfriends at a very young age and her first boyfriend moved away a year into the relationship soon after sixth grade.  She said that she was devastated that this consistent relationship was ending and she considered “throwing herself under the school bus”.   “I didn’t want to live without him, but since my life did in fact go on, I had to find another boyfriend. And so began a lifelong pattern:  I always had to have a boyfriend.  Without the force a guy in my life, I became more insecure, nervous, and introverted.”  Hiding From Reality, Taylor Armstrong

She moved to Tennessee (holla)for junior high and then to Tulsa for 8th grade.  She details awful boyfriends that treated her horribly, but she was desperate for the relationships to work.  When boyfriends tried to end relationships she would beg, “Please don’t leave me”  “It’s humiliating and painful for me to think back on behavior like this, but it’s who I was years, including throughout my marriage to Russell.” Hiding from Reality  Taylor Armstrong She went to college and earned a Bachelor’s degree in biology and then entered the master’s program at the University Of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center because she wanted to prove that she was good enough to be a scientist or a doctor despite her upbringing.  Soon into the program, she realized it wasn’t what she was interested in.

She developed symptoms of exercise bulimia as a high school and college cheerleader stemming from her self-loathing.  She ate very little and exercised twice daily.

She discusses living with her college cheerleading partner- I think this might be the Jeremy Sipes we’ve read about but curiously, she doesn’t name him by name unlike the other boyfriends she listed.  He cheated on her and she moved on and tried to fit in with another boyfriend and his family. She details paying attention to every detail in order to act perfect in order to impress her boyfriend of years and his family.  She didn’t feel like she was worthy of his love because of her childhood and who she was.  She legally changes her name to Shana Taylor in order to take her now step-father’s name and the only dad she’s ever had.  Her friends then start calling her “Taylor”. She was relieved to be putting Shana Hughes behind her.

At 22, she gets the lip implant and a boob job in order to try and feel good about herself.

First real job, pharmaceutical sales in Illinois where she met Dwight.

Moved to Dallas for better job, heavily pursued a guy that looked straight laced and stable and within a few months, she moved to Florida to be with “Chris”and she quit her job in Dallas as Chris’ dad was her boss.  She spent the next couple of years with Chris and was engaged to him and played the role as stay at home wife beginning in an apartment, then later in a house.  5 weeks before the wedding, Chris called it off.  Taylor then moved to Fort Lauderdale, FL. And worked another job 2001-2004 during this time, she wanted a fresh start and to abandon the insecure girl that craved a man’s affection so she decided to change her name again.  This time she changes her last name to Ford after her favorite designer (her aunt had been in fashion) and first name to Taylor.  Taylor Ford.

A friend in FL had a stroke and she spent a year helping him to rehabilitate.  The friend opened up a business in California 2004 and asked Taylor to move there.  By that time, her mother and stepdad were in Orange County, CA.

She says that when she first saw Russell Armstrong she knew she had to have him.  She pursued him for months because of his stability, confidence, appearance and business sense.  She had her own money at this time driving a silver Porsche and living in a nice condo.  He blew her off as a gold digger.  Over time, after she kept running into him and his friends, he asked her out.

On the way to the first date-Valentine’s Day , when she learned that they were going to be eating at Dolce, she told Russell that a guy that had been calling her hung out there a lot and she hoped it wasn’t awkward.  Once seated, Russell accused her of “F*cking the bartender”at Dolce. Despite her insistence that she was not sleeping with anyone, he kept accusing her until she cried on their very first date.  From that first date and throughout their entire marriage, Taylor paints a picture of a very jealous, suspicious Russell Armstrong.  He accused her of being a whore to a major NBA player because he had called her phone once or twice after meeting him BEFORE meeting Russell. 

Russell had such paranoia that he tape-recorded Taylor in her car, in the office, in the bedroom and after she found the first tape recorder and her cleaning lady also found tape recorders, she just always assumed that she was being recorded.  When she tearfully asked him about it, he said that she shouldn’t mind if there was nothing to hide.  Taylor details seeing Russell remotely log in to her emails from his computer across town through one of those remote programs and watching the mouse cursor click on email after email.  When she had a small eraser sized scab on her back, he accused her of having rough violent sex and cheating on her.  He would bring up this, the NBA player paranoia about every couple of months throughout their relationship despite her insistence that nothing of the sort had happened.  He was insistent that she was lying to him for years and he finally asked her to take a lie detector test.  After some argument, he convinced her that if she had nothing to hide- she would take the test.  She obliged and passed.  He was thankful for her taking it, but soon thereafter, he accused her of paying off the lie detector test administrator.

Once they got serious, they were inseparable and she backed away from her other relationships and isolated herself with only Russell and his boys every other weekend.  She did whatever he said to do and learned quickly to always have her phone beside her where she could hear it when she wasn’t with him.  If she didn’t answer for a mere 15 minutes, he created a scenario in his head that she was cheating on him in a secret hotel room at the Four Seasons when in reality, she was having a facial with electrodes on her face or having her nails done.  He continued a cycle of dominance and control and if she didn’t do what he wanted when he wanted it, he would tell her to leave or that it was over.  It was a high-conflict relationship where she had to walk on eggshells and behave just right in order to try and please him.  She details times where he would get so mad at her at business dinners if she talked too much OR too little that he would just get in his car and leave the dinner with no explanation to her or his clients.   He would tell her that she was too skinny and having sex with her was like having sex with a skeleton.

“…I was hooked on the roller-coaster ride of the relationship, and the need it brought out in me to please him.  He seemed hooked too.  Instead of breaking up, we established a pattern:  he flew into a rage over the smallest thing, or sometimes over nothing other than a figment of his imagination.  I apologized, cried, and begged and pleaded, and vowed myself that I would be so perfect that he’d never get angry again.  From the beginning, I began compiling a careful mental inventory of all the many things I needed to avoid doing or saying to keep the peace in our relationship.”  Hiding from Reality

Russell apparently told her stories of a rough childhood growing up in public housing in Dallas where he fought regularly growing up and that was his reasoning for being so aggressive with her mentally and physically.  When he explained his relationship with his first wife, he told Taylor that she would throw dishes at him and she would fly into rage.  One time he held out his palm and his ex wife ran into it and she called the police.  Within the first few months of dating Russell, she ran into his ex-fiancée who told her to run for the hills and that she (Taylor) was probably being recorded.  They soon moved in together and she found the recorders.

Soon, they got pregnant (they had discussed it previously) but Russell ONLY wanted to keep the baby if it was a girl since he already had two boys.  Thankfully, they learned they were having a girl.

Then, the story we’ve heard- she made pizza for his boys, Russell came home from work and they were going out for a business dinner and Taylor was downstairs (kitchen was on the 2nd floor of 3 floors) and Russell came out of nowhere and grabbed her throat and shoved her against the wall.  This was the first incident of physical abuse.  “If you ever again serve my kids a pizza without a vegetable, I’ll kill you, “he said.  “You have just humiliated me in front of my mother.”  Hiding from Reality

Taylor blamed herself and profusely apologized.  He called her names and said he wouldn’t take her to the business dinner. She didn’t want to be LEFT so she begged to go with him and she went, but he wouldn’t talk to her all night.  She details trying to stay one step ahead of Russell so that he would never have a reason to hurt her again.  If he wanted a shirt and it was at the cleaners ready to be picked up it would set him off for an entire day. 

Russell was inattentive during her pregnancy and didn’t take an interest in Lamaze classes and only made it to like one class.

Then, they got engaged, Russell tells her out of the blue that he’s filing for bankruptcy due to the palimony suit brought by his ex fiancée.  They got married in Cabo Oct2005, Kennedy was then born and Russell didn’t want Taylor to breastfeed her because breasts belonged only in a bikini.  Taylor did breastfeed for a few weeks while Russell was out of town, but when he returned, Taylor’s body quit producing milk. 

She describes a marriage where they never discussed money.  If she was buying something over $500 she would have to discuss in advance and she was questioned regularly who she had been to lunch with and why.  He didn’t want her to know anything about the finances because of being burned by his ex fiancée.  Apparently, she took financial information from him and it hurt him significantly.

He then began grabbing the side of her head after dinners, etc… and smashing her head against the glass window in the car.  In a reflective moment, Russell told Taylor to hit him back the next time he hit her.  So she did, and he went into a rage.  He told her to not ever do that again because he was afraid he was going to kill her.  After one particular head banging incident, she had her nanny, Gloria take photos of the knots that were somewhat visible on camera.  His physical abuse episodes were about every six weeks or so.

Throughout all of this, her nanny, her friends, her mom all told her to leave him.  When she wanted to talk to her family, she had to do it outside of the house and outside of the car in order to not be recorded.  She wanted to go to therapy but Russell wouldn’t go.

In 2009 she began interviewing for RHOBH he didn’t think she would be cast so he didn’t mind that she tried out.  Then on May 22, 2009 a horrible incident involving Russell and her best friend’s fiancé was one of the last straws.

Her friend Jennifer (This is Jennifur Diamond) had gotten engaged to Mark (Alsentzer) and she and Russell in two separate cars went by their friend’s house to say congratulations.  When Russell was ready to leave, he left in his car and then Mark asked Taylor how things were going with the abuse because Jennifer had told him about the abuse.  When Mark offered to help Taylor and Kennedy if they needed to escape, Russell emerged from the side gate and started hitting Mark saying something like you aren’t going to take my wife from me, throwing him into the pool and holding him under.  Russell briefly let go of Mark and grabbed Taylor and held her under water.  Jennifer the friend started beating Russell over the head with a fire log.  Russell went back to Mark and punched him over and over.  Jennifer called the police and the ambulance.  Jennifer told police that she was afraid that Russell was going to kill Taylor.  Mark needed 20 stitches, and 5 front teeth were knocked out.  Despite this, Taylor pressured Mark and Jennifer not to press charges.  Taylor paid for $10,000 of the dental work.  The police kept trying to question Taylor and she tried to protect Russell and told them that he wasn’t trying to kill her.  She was afraid that if he went to jail that they would be financially ruined. 

Each time the abuse happened, Taylor thought she could learn from whatever she had done wrong and it wouldn’t happen again.  She thought she could change him.

RHOBH was continuing to call for casting and since she was friends with Adrienne and Adrienne knew of the abuse, Adrienne thought it would be financially smart for Taylor to do the show, plus Taylor thought that Russell would behave better if he was on camera.

In March 2010 cameras began rolling and Taylor says that she felt that she needed to play up the parts of a perceived Beverly Hills housewife.  She hid some of her personality and took on a persona that she believed viewers would be more interested in.  After the first season aired, they viewed how the other ladies conducted themselves in their marriages and Russell agreed to go to counseling.  Whenever she was filming and Russell would have paranoia that she was cheating, he would text her “F&ck you, you whore.”  Lisa Vanderpump witnessed one of these texts and told Taylor that it was unacceptable.

Once the show started airing in Oct 2010, Taylor didn’t like her Stepford Wife behavior and how she represented herself as the stereotypical Botox housewife.  “I saw it all, and at times I hated myself as much as some of the hostile people on twitter did.”  Taylor quit reading blogs and reviews due to the negativity but Russell was addicted to Google alerts and the reviews in an unhealthy way.  Every little thing would set him off if he read that an ex-boyfriend of Taylor’s had commented or been interviewed, etc… “Russell felt that he could control the whole world as completely as he controlled me.”  Hiding from Reality  Finally, admitting that they needed help, Russell agreed to go to counseling.

Dr. Sophy was their counselor and Taylor said that the therapy was working and that she and Russell were communicating better than ever before.  Dr. Sophy would hold them both accountable for working on their marriage and he kept in touch almost daily through phone or text with both of them.

During this time another witness to the yelling, arguing and abuse was Taylor’s new live in assistant Julie.  Russell would apologize to her about his yelling and she told Taylor that she would listen every night to make sure that Taylor wasn’t hurt.

 In January 2011- they went to Dallas for the Superbowl and fans kept coming up to talk to her and Russell didn’t like all of the attention that she was getting.  He got really mad at Taylor and pulled her into a service entrance in the hallway of a restaurant and hit her twice in the jaw with his open hand. When they returned to where they were staying that night, Taylor was talking to their friends and Russell overheard her tell someone that he got physical and when Taylor went to bed, Russell hit her in the jaw.  “After several blows, something snapped.  The pain was excruciating, and I could no longer shut my mouth.  Russell had knocked my jaw out of socket. He kept hitting me.”   Hiding from Reality She knelt over the toilet in order to try and fix it because she couldn’t close her mouth and saliva was coming out.  She wasn’t able to fix it.  Then, she laid on the bed and popped it back into place (I read a couple of people say that if it is truly out of socket that this is nearly impossible to do) still in horrible pain and had to be gentle with it for days. She never saw a doctor and she still gets shooting pain from her jaw.

When they returned home, Russell claimed he was moving out and he set a moving date for the following day.  He hired movers and found a listing in a high rise condo.  That date came and went and he didn’t leave.  This is when she met Camille and told Camille he was leaving but he didn’t.  They never discussed why Russell didn’t actually leave.

She discusses him yelling at her in front of Kennedy and him telling Kennedy that Taylor was a whore and to get the f&ck out of his life.

Later, Dr. Sophy put Russell on medication and it worked really well, but Russell didn’t like what he felt like on the medicine. So, Russell decided to bring home some pot and while the nanny was with Kennedy, Taylor and Russell would get high together.  Taylor said that when Russell was high he was the husband she always wanted him to be.

Then, despite that things were getting better with Russell on meds and “the pot” Taylor’s castmates were frustrated with her and her inconsistencies.  She totally understands why.  Her marriage was such a plotline on the show and she was on such a rollercoaster but she couldn’t fully explain it all because she was caught up in the tornado of the cycle of abuse.  She didn’t want Russell to know the extent that she had spoken to the ladies, but she didn’t want to leave him yet because she loved him.

The last straw was the night of her perfect 40th birthday party at Beecher’s Madhouse and they were staying overnight at the Four Seasons.  They had friends there, they were laid back and dancing and kissing on the dance floor.  Taylor describes having these amazing butterflies for Russell again that night and everything was perfect.   They got back to the hotel (she said “home “meaning back to the hotel)and they started to kiss in bed and then he all of a sudden started questioning her about the Chippendales in Vegas and why and where did she lose her phone.  He accused her of having bruises all down her back but there were no bruises.  He kept calling her a whore and accusing her of cheating on him. She was on top of him naked and trying to convince him that nothing had happened and he raised himself up on one elbow and punched her hard straight in the right eye.

She went into the living room of the hotel suite and woke up her assistant Julie and told her what was going on.  She doesn’t say she left or where she slept but the next day she went by the pool to relax despite not being able to look inward or down.  The next day, she visited her LASIK doctor who told her flap had been wrinkled and asked Taylor in front of Russell how it had happened.  Taylor lied as Russell had instructed her to do and said Kennedy had kicked her while swinging.  She had to have her flap repaired and then wait 10 days after her flap healed before having the ocular plastic surgery to fix the fracture.  On June 26, she had a CAT scan that showed that 40% of her orbital floor (the bone supporting the eye) had been fractured and required major surgery and an overnight hospital stay.  The doc went on to say that she would need a titanium implant beneath her eye so that her eye would not be sunken for the rest of her life.  After that, she, Julie and Kennedy left for a few days and she told Russell over the phone to move out.  He said he would be out by the next day.  That’s when she called Kyle and Lisa in Hawaii.

On July 5, 2011 Taylor had the reconstructive surgery and Russell tried to win her back in the hospital with roses, but Dwight and her mom made her make him leave even though she still loved him and wanted him there. The bruising that we saw in the photos was from the surgery but the injury that caused the surgery was still from Russell.

Then, from her recovery through mid August, they were cordial and even played with Kennedy together and went to dinner. 

The discovery of the body was widely reported and not much new information was shared other than conveying how it was the worst day of her life.

She kept a suit for each of Russell’s boys and she speaks of them lovingly throughout the book.  She also is making a photo album for both of them.

This book is a must read if you are a fan of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  It was well worth the money in my opinion.  I understand that many disagree with me on this point.  I am not saying that I believe every word 100% as that would be foolish.  HOWEVER, after reading this book, I believe that she has suffered abuse-mental and physical.  Taylor, if you read this- I wish you well.  I hope that you, Kennedy  and Russell’s sons can someday be able to move forward and remember the time in between the cycles of abuse-the honeymoon stages.  

If you have questions, please leave them in the comments- but I ask you to be nice!  I didn’t write the book-I’m just reporting it and voicing my opinion.

AND the WINNER of Mrs. Bravo Housewife is…

Andy:  “Welcome Back to the Inaugural Bravo Beauty Pageant and Welcome Back to my lovely co-host Lisa Vanderpump who is now wearing a chic black trash bag.  Lisa, what on Earth are you wearing?”

Lisa:  “Well Andy, the producers of this pageant apparently assumed that I would be wearing designs from the sportswear sponsor Alexis Couture and I won’t wear that garbage, so I decided to wear the bag it came in instead. “

Andy:  “Wise choice!”

Lisa:  “Moving on, before the break we had one contestant disqualification and one contestant pass out.  Now, we move on to the swimwear competition where no one can shove a bikini farther up her arse than my lovely friend, Brandi Glanville. 

Beautiful arse Brandi, and here comes Camille looking DIVINE. 

 

 

 

It is amazing that she looks so good after having two, er… I mean Camille looks amazing.  She’s now straddling the microphone stand and giving the judges a little wiggle.  Look at Jackee’s face, she looks disgusted but Rupaul is into it.  Andy, the swimwear competition really comes down to Brandi or Camille, yes?  “

Andy:  “Don’t forget about the hottest housewife of the OC—Tamra Barney who is doing some lewd gestures on stage. Tammy Sue, keep it classy. Get your fingers out of your butt-that isn’t sexy, no one wants to do that to you- oh wait, Brad Goreski is in to it.  Jeff Lewis, sit down and quit shoving dollar bills in Tamra’s bikini top.  Oh, Maloof”

Lisa:  “Here comes Kandi Burruss- Andy, look at all that playground. It’s amazing that she can get anything done during the day with all that space to play.  Oh no, Kandi don’t dahling, we don’t want to see a demonstration of your new line of sex toys on stage. Andy, Kyle will not come on stage because she only wants to be shown from the boobs up but here is a photograph of her top in a swimsuit for the judges to judge.”

 

 

 

Andy:  “Here comes the hottie from New Jersey, Melissa Gorga and is accompanied by her sisters Lysa and Kim and three bodyguards because of credible threats from her loving sister-in-law Teresa.  I hope the judges can actually see Melissa strut her stuff.”

 

 

Andy:  “Anderson Cooper has apparently peed himself from laughing so hard at the contestants at the judges table and has been excused.  We are down to six judges and I will be the tie breaker.  Don’t go anywhere, when we return we’ll be back with the WINNER of Mrs. Bravo Housewife”

JUDGES DELIBERATION….brought to you by:  Maloof Hoof which translates to Sh!t on a Shoe

Lisa:  “Welcome back, I’ve now slipped into an old “TEAM JILL” t-shirt that was left in the bathroom and I’m wearing Dina Manzo’s last year’s Versace as bottoms.  Has it really come to this Andy? I will not wear that trash Alexis Couture ever!  I heard it gives you a rash and will turn my hair an ashy, dirty blonde.  I can’t Andy, I can’t.  It smells like Jim Bellino.”

Andy:  “Before the competition some awards were decided based on preliminary competitions.”   

 Miss Congeniality goes to Camille Grammer because she had DD do all of her dirty work.

 

 

 

 

Miss Photogenic:  Kyle Richards because girlfriend ALWAYS takes a great photo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AND NOW here are the winners:

Fifth Runner Up:  Kandi Burruss

Fourth Runner Up:  Tamra Barney

Third Runner Up: Kyle Richards

Second Runner Up: Melissa Gorga

First Runner Up:  Camille Grammer

“Overall winner of Mrs. Bravo Housewife 2012 goes to………BRANDI GLANVILLE. 

As this year’s title holder, Bravo is promoting her to full-time housewife!  AND, she will get to shill whatever she’s selling on Watch What Happens Live whenever she wants.

Congratulations to all!  I’m Andy Cohen and this has been the first and last Mrs. Bravo Housewife. Good night…..”

 

 

Adrienne “Maloofed” Herself

From now on, I have a new word for poop, sh!t, crap, etc… I will be using “Maloof” to describe such action or object.

“OH NO!  The dog MALOOFED in the kitchen!”

I will teach it to my husband and kids and we will use it everyday.

“Mommy, I MALOOFED, can you wipe me?” my four year old will scream.  “Mommy, I stepped in dog MALOOF in the backyard!” my daughter will yell. 

“Oh, MALOOF!  I missed my exit!”  “MALOOF! I stubbed my toe.” “Man, that smells like MALOOF.”

You get the point.

I believe that Adrienne decided that she was going to take down Lisa Vanderpump at the reunion and it MALOOFED in her face.

Our little ray of Sunshine, Brandi Glanville, told us that Adrienne called a meeting before the reunion in order to plan out how to confront Lisa.

I want to know WHAT there is to confront because I don’t see it?  Lisa is beautiful, kind, funny, and has a VANDERPUMPALICIOUS life with an adorable husband named Giggy and a supportive lapdog named Ken.  So what if she is well put together, has a photo of herself as her screen saver and carefully considers how to present herself on the show?  WHO CARES?  The fans don’t and you cannot manipulate us that way.   We will not be told who to like.  If that could happen, then Jill Zarin would still be on the show because Lord knows she tried to make us like her.

Thank you Brandi Glanville for bringing the problem to the surface telling us that Adrienne has told her “staff” that she doesn’t like Lisa. 

Adrienne did not deny it; she merely said “That’s not nice!  Why would you say that?” when Brandi outed her.  Lisa looked incredibly hurt by Adrienne.  I know that they weren’t the best of friends, but to learn that your former neighbor, castmate and friend secretly dislikes you has to hurt your heart.  We’ve already discussed the possible reasons Adrienne is jealous of Lisa, but now we know for sure.  Maybe Taylor and Kyle agreed at some point during the season, but Camille was wise to stick with Lisa because she came out smelling like rose rather than “MALOOF”.

My prediction is that Adrienne is now most hated housewife.  Taylor is hated too, but not by me.  So, Adrienne—take all the criticism and hatred that you have witnessed and heard about Taylor to heart, because you are now in her company. 

I truly didn’t start this as an “I HATE ADRIENNE MALOOF” blog, but her behavior is so deplorable, I must comment.  The reader stats on this blog have been tremendous –thousands of you have read the posts during the last few days– and there have been so many negative Adrienne comments here and on twitter.  I still see a few people support her on twitter but not as many as Lisa and more people despise her behavior than condone it.   

The rest of the reunion was predictable other than Taylor stating that she believes the possibility that Russell could have been murdered.   My thoughts on Taylor are to come in another blog (after I read her book which comes out today) but I think she was sincere on the reunion.  Brandi needs to watch herself getting involved in too many arguments because I found myself cringing at her during her outbursts with Taylor.

I asked Kyle yesterday if I would still love her in the morning.  I still do. 

 
BravoLover
BravoTVLoverBravoLover

 
@KyleRichards18 will I still love you tomorrow? (singing tweet) I’ve forgiven u from last Mon(I sound psycho) bc I have short term mem probs
 

in reply to ↑

 
Kyle Richards

@KyleRichards18 Kyle Richards
@BravoTVLover haha. I hope so but I never know how one will perceive everything….
 
 
 
 
replies ↓

»
 
BravoLover
BravoTVLoverBravoLover

@
@KyleRichards18 we get so involved w u wives that it feels personal. We are an intense fan club! I hope u and @LisaVanderpump patch thingsup

See, I do have short-term memory problems since I was upset with Kyle calling Lisa “calculating” last Monday, but I “forgave” her by Friday–but I must have filed my disdain for Adrienne’s behavior under “long-term” memory “MALOOF”. 

Last night, Kyle answered the questions well and seemed sincere.  I believe that there is much more to Kim/Kyle’s relationship and it must be very difficult to navigate these waters on camera.  I give Kudos to Kyle for not discussing Kim’s disease as it isn’t her place.

Next week, we hear from Kim and the husbands. (I bet Paul is glad he’s a Nassif) 

Later today, the Beauty Pageant continues.  WHO WILL WIN?  It’s anybody’s guess!

I’ve had my coffee; I’m off to take a MALOOF.

LOL- not really…

Bravo Beauty Pageant

Many months ago, I tweeted to Andy that I would like to see a

Real Housewives Beauty Pageant air on Bravo. 

This morning, Melissa Gorga asked Andy Cohen if it would be possible to have some of the housewives crossover into other cities as mentioned in an article. 

Melissa Gorga

@melissagorga Melissa Gorga

Would u like this? Let’s ask @bravoandy Real Housewives All Stars, Crossover Episodes Prompt Fan Support:  

 
  
Andy Cohen
                BravoAndyAndy Cohen
@melissagorga love the idea but seems like it’s shark jumpy
 
 
 

I agree, I don’t want to see Teresa anywhere near my Lisa Vanderpump.  However, if  Teresa went to Beverly Hills, she might get help with that forehead and that would make me really happy, so why don’t we revisit the idea of a Bravo Beauty Pageant?

As some of you know I have a TV background. One of my favorites courses in college was network programming.  In my first television job, I had the pleasure of program- input on the network level with a little- known- former- network called the WB.  BUT, that was a million years ago. Now, I’m a mom that stays home with the kids and snarks on the Real Housewives. 

So, basically, Andy should listen to me.  Couch-potato-programming….

A beauty pageant with all or some of the wives would be epically awesome and so I decided to detail my plan so that Andy and the other people that make decisions at Bravo (are there other people?) to see how ground-breaking this would be.

It would be open to all the housewives if they wanted to participate, but here are my dream contestants. 

 

 Inaugural Mrs. Bravo Housewife 2012 

Live from Maloof Manor

Hosted By:  Andy Cohen

 (hehee-I really wanted to use this photo)

and Lisa Vanderpump

Judges:  Brad Goreski, Jeff Lewis, Bethenny Frankel, Anderson Cooper, Kelly Ripa, Jackee, RuPaul

 

Competing in Mrs. Bravo Housewife

Mrs. Camille Grammer of Beverly Hills

Talent: Exotic Dancing    

 

 

 

Platform:   National Association for Life after Divorce

 

Mrs. Kyle Richards of Beverly Hills

Talent: Useless Splits and Ponytail

 

 

 

 

 

 

Platform:  The Importance of Educating America : Who is Bobby Fisher?

 

Ms. Brandi Glanville of Beverly Hills 

 Talent: Looking like Brandi Glanville

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Platform:  National Association of Nipples, Wedges and Crutches

 

 

Mrs. Ramona Singer of New York 

Talent: Pinot Drinking  and Turtle Time

 

 

 

 

  Platform: The Importance of Pinot Grigio

 

Mrs. Melissa Gorga of New Jersey 

Talent: Singing while calling out a family member

            

 

 

 

Platform: National Association of Hopeless Sister-In-Laws

 

 

Mrs. Tamra Barney of Orange County 

           

Talent: Serving “cyst and deceased” letters 

Platform:  Why more bathtub scenes should be on BravoTV

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ms. Kandi Burruss of Atlanta

Talent: Singing with her mouth closed while demonstrating various freak numbers 

                                                            

Platform: Why Bravo TV should do more extensive criminal and background checks on New Housewives

 

 

Andy:  “And for our last contestant:  You know her from New Jersey, Mrs. Tuhre… WAIT!  We are just learning that our last contestant has been eliminated from the competition based on unsportsman-like conduct: 

Teresa Giudice from New Jersey was caught trying to superglue Melissa Gorga’s hair to her forehead!”

Teresa: “What, I was just tryin’ ta help her not have such a big forehead. My baby bruddah Joey likes little foreheads like mine.  He doesn’t like them big, questionable 1/46th Italian foreheads.  I love my bruddah and I want him to be happy wit her forehead.  Ain’t I nice? Ain’t I? Joe?  JOOOOOOEEEEEEE?  Git ovah here. Tell ‘em I was just tryin’ ta help!”

 

 

 

Lisa“Andy, it seems Ramona Singer has dropped out of the competition. She has run out of Pinot and will not complete the pageant.”  

Andy: “That’s a shame, Lisa, where is her emergency IV?” 

Lisa“It seems that she has used that as well.”

Who will win? 

 

Who will LOSE? 

What will happen? 

Find out who wins Mrs. Bravo Housewife 2012 in my next blog!

It’s all Adrienne’s fault

Ok, I spent two hours this morning composing a wonderful piece on humility.

I was finishing up and linking something to Adrienne Maloof and POOF the freakin blog disappeared. DAMMMIT!

The pissed off spirit of Adrienne Maloof deleted my well-intentioned blog.

Here’s what I wanted to convey today: It’s important, very important, to your overall happiness to be humble.  

Absurd2sublime tweeted me this:

Absurd2Sublime Sharon

@

@BravoTVLover @wallstreet0705 Darling, yours is a world exclusive.You’re gonna be a good blogger, you have humility

That is the biggest compliment for me because I haven’t always been humble.  I’m a work in progress.

I was the MEAN girl in high school. I was the blonde, cheerleading captain, popular girl from a small town in the South that Hollywood producers dream of. Smart assed and rude, I had many friends (scared minions) at my disposal. I treated people horribly at times and I am embarrassed of it all. I was a celebrity amongst my peers and I always got my way.  My parents were good parents, but I had them under my spell too.  I would get caught drinking and smoking by my mother and all she would do is make a copy of an old anti-smoking article, leave it on my bed right beside a new outfit.  I craved attention and I always got it.  I made many, many mistakes using this power throughout my teens and some of my twenties and I’ve apologized to many people over the years.  I’ve beaten myself up for my mean-girl actions more than anyone will ever know.

After I graduated high school, I went to college and went through sorority rush. I quickly learned that my celebrity star was all but faded. Every prom queen, cheerleading captain and beauty pageant winner that ever lived seemed to be rushing at the same time I was. I was no longer the most popular and I had to learn to live with it. It humbled me, it molded me, and it made me take an honest look at myself. All of my displaced insecurity, depression and anger over the years had come out in the form of Regina George. I began to think of others before myself. I went back to church and found God with my sorority sisters. I got involved with philanthropy and organized all types of charity events. Giving to others made me feel better than I ever had.  I had learned humility and it was the best thing for me.  Am I still arrogant?  Not really…because I’m an aging mother of four with 30 extra pounds on my ass.  That’ll keep ya humble.

Now that I blog about the horrible behavior of reality stars, it makes me realize that some of these rich b!tches never grew up and learned humility.

Some of the Housewives have never learned that lesson. Some of them (and I had them all listed this morning before the spirit of Adrienne allegedly high jacked my blog) are missing out on some of the peace that comes from killing off that mean girl and using your “popularity” for good rather than evil.   

Do I still make fun of people? Obviously, but only in the form of reality stars that really deserve it.  It probably won’t be good for my overall well-being, but its fun for now and who knows, maybe it will teach someone somewhere something.

Here’s my list of recruits for BravoTVLover’s College of Humility:

Real Housewives of New Jersey:  Look at Teresa Giudice…Teresa’s ego is the fuel that drives her fame addiction. She cannot see past her own inflated ego to see that she has lost the relationship with her own brother.  Her vicious side came out at the reunion and it wasn’t pretty.  She has been through so much in the last few years with Juicy Joe and the bankruptcy, etc… that one would think it would make her humble, but it has fueled her need for fame and success in order to prove the “haters” wrong. 

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills:  We know Adrienne doesn’t know how to spell humility! Girlfriend cannot take a joke and I consider her the new Jill Zarin of the Housewives phenomenon. I feel sorry for Paul because he deserves a loving wife that will pull up her sleeves and help him with an enema. Haha! Lol….just kidding that was gross. But, he does deserve more and hopefully he gets more when the cameras are off. In theses off months, I hope Adrienne can get some perspective and learn that the world is sooo much more than hair extensions, tight faces and stripper shoes.  She has everything a gal could want, but she isn’t happy-maybe she needs to eat.  Kyle also has a bit of a mean-girl streak.  The way she treated Brandi at game night was deplorable, but here’s what- SHE OWNED IT, admitted her mistake and apologized.  Adrienne hasn’t attempted to do that with Lisa in a public forum so Adrienne- you’re still the ego-assmunch-mean girl of Beverly Hills.

Real Housewives of New York:  Ugh, I don’t know half the cast, but the Countess definitely takes top prize for egomaniac.  She still thinks she’s royalty for goodness sakes. Drop the title, get rid of all your one-shoulder dresses and make a change. 

Real Housewives of Orange County:  As much as I love her, Vicki has shown that she is unable to laugh at herself and she has been the least receptive of new girls during past seasons.  Although she DID make a huge step forward by accepting Peggy last season, I still hope she learns to crack jokes at her own expense.

Real Housewives of Atlanta:  Most of these ladies have such huge egos, but that’s how Atlanta is.  Atlanta’s new money members of society wear their money on their sleeves.  All of these women except Kandi and Cynthia would sell their grandma’s prized recipes for some “red bottoms” and a Chanel accessory.  Sheree needs a dose of humble pie for sure as does Nene.  But, it works for Nene.  She has built her brand on top of a mountain of sass and personality and she owns it.  (Yeah- it’s a double standard but it’s my blog-get over it)

Who else should I recruit?  Who is a mean girl stuck in high school that never went to college? Let’s discuss in the comments.

Disney Housewives

This was the funniest part of Saturday Night Live last night!  Enjoy!  Poor Jasmine!

 

Disney Housewives.

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